You get what you pay for Part One...

Author's note:  This is just my recent experience with therapy.  I am not putting down any form of therapy or if you or your doctor feel it is necessary.  I am just relaying my experiences with one  therapist.

Before cancer I thought I could handle anything.  I am a pretty strong willed individual.  I don't back down from a fight, and truth be told I can be argumentative too ( I know its pretty shocking to most who know me.)  Cancer, depression, chemo and the side effects those really got to me.  I like using the hockey analogy, its like when another player taunts you and gets in your head. All you can focus on in that taunt, that player, not the game, not where you are supposed to be on the ice, nothing.

So I thought to myself.  Ok, I know I am not supposed to feel this way.  I am done with treatment, I am back to work, but it is after all called the "new normal"  something that you are not prepared for, or well at least I wasn't. 

I decided to see a therapist one on one.  It worked for a while. I told her I am not an easy patient.  Some things are hard for me to talk about.  I told her sometimes you might have to literally pry it out of me like the jaws of life.

She wanted me to journal everyday.  Ok, so what if I have nothing to write about?  I blog here when the mood strikes, I am not a write on command type of person.  Ok I tried.  Got a notebook.  I don't like writing in a notebook, can I write on my computer, its easier for me.  She said something about the brain going to the hand and some subconcious something blah blah. 

Well I asked her, when I am done writing are you going to read it next time I am here?

 No its for you.

Dude, seriously I thought, I know how fucked up and depressed I feel, you sure you don't want to take a peek?  As if writing down my thoughts would miraculously make me feel better and have the sunshine and puppies moment.

She didn't want to see it.

Ok.

She didn't like the thought of prying my thoughts out of me, although that is what I needed. 

She told me she worked with teenagers with emotional problems when I had first met her, so I thought ok, that is helpful since I try to share my feelings but like I said, its hard sometimes and there is that jaws of life analogy again.

She told me that I could call her after hours at home if need be.  I said I don't really like to rely on that, people have their own lives, I don't like to pry.  She insisted.

So I called her on two seperate occasions.

Now being a therapist and knowing that the emotional shit doesn't always happen between the usual 9 to 5 office hours you think she would have taught her kids how to take a message.

Nope.

I got pissed at her about that and all I got was basically an oh well kind of response.

The second time I called she was having some kind of family dispute and had to call me back.  Now for both situations I wasn't at the end of my rope, but could you imagine if I was?  Uh, I am sorry, I am dealing with my child, sorry that you are having an emotional meltdown, hang on I will call you right back.

Once again I got pissed at her.  Once again it was an oh well kind of response.

At some point during my therapy sessions with her she thought it would be therapeautic if I finger painted.

You read that right.

Fucking Fingerpainting

Sure, a depressed almost 40 adult dealing with cancer and survivorship for the first time and you want me to break out the fingerpaints and that would help me cope???!!!! 

Uh.....Sure...

At one point I imagined smearing that paint on her face thinking, yeah, you are right, I feel better now!!!

Her job was probably going to get downsized so she told me that she would remain my therapist and we would figure out where we could continue our sessions.

That was not the case. She told me that, basically I wasn't following much of the direction that she had given me in therapy (Ok lets stop there.  You think that if all you have is a couple of things in your therapy bag of tricks that you might, oh I don't know, ask colleagues, go online.  There is a wealth of information out there.  I know I seek it out.) and that her position will no longer be funded so I should seek help elsewhere.

Obviously getting dumped by your therapist isn't easy, but she was free, a service of a local organization. 

So see, you get what you pay for.


Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon eastern standard time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand now and also available on itunes.

THE SCAR

I never really had a scar until I had my lumpectomy. Before that I only had one tiny scar on my knee.  Got that from our dog Tiger, a german shepard mix, who decided, when I was in junior high or high school, to chase something and he dragged me down the the ground.  Barely noticeable to me.

Now including I have 3 scars, one on my knee, one from my lumpectomy and a scar from the infusion port.

It took me a while to get used to seeing the big lumpectomy scar.  I am glad my breast was able to be saved, and I can never wear a shirt and show off my cleavage (well I guess I could but that scar would turn heads more than my cleavage ever would.)

When I first got home from surgery I remember looking at my scar, hating it, glad that the cancer was gone, but hating the fact that I had a constant reminder of surgery, of cancer, of the fact that life was going to be different from here on out.  It took me a long time to get used to that scar. 

I had everything happen to me pretty quickly, diagnosis to surgery to chemo was less than two months, Sept 18th-diagnosis, Oct 9-Surgery, November 12 chemo.  Somewhere between lumpectomy surgery and chemo I had surgery for to put the port in.  I was glad that I had that put in because chemo chews up your veins, but I hated seeing that fucking thing every day.  It looked like a little bottlecap underneath my skin. I couldn't anything that I really loved to do (hockey, skiing etc) because you could get seriously injured if you hit that thing.  Even when I was exercising I would move a certain way and that would hurt. I totally recommend getting a port, but I was so fucking grateful when it was removed.

My surgeon wanted to know if I wanted to keep it. Some people do as a reminder. No way. Thanks for the memories doc, but throw that god damn thing away. I have enough memories of all the shit I went through.

My lumpectomy scar is perfect for that.

Some of where the cancer was cut out is numb and will never get feeling back.  Some of the feeling has come back.  That is normal, my surgeon says.  Like I said, glad I got to keep my breast.  I remember thinking waayy back when I first met my surgeon he asked if I wanted a full mastectomy on my right breast.

Holy shit,I thought,  it was difficult enough to think about, that I have cancer, that I have to have surgery, wondering how the fuck am I going to pay for all this, now you are asking me if I want you to lop off a part of my body.  Hell no.  (Although I am pretty sure at the time I didn't say that but in the back of my mind that is what I was thinking)

I remember thinking after seeing that scar, that Doug would never think that I would ever be attractive again.  Obviously that is and never was the case, but in my mind, during chemo, that god damn napalm they give you, caused my hair loss and my weight loss (when I thought I looked like a space alien) the times when I couldn't eat, when I was so fucking fatigued from cancer and then I couldn't sleep, when I forgot about those things for a moment, there would always be that scar.

Having that scar took a long time for me to get used to. 

I know some people equate their scars to a badge of honor.

I don't. 

The scar is now just a part of me.


Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com 

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand and also available on itunes.

Light of Day

I post on several other cancer survivors facebook pages, some are finishing up treatment, some are just starting.  It always makes me reflect upon my own battle.  I know I have written about this before, but a few friends of mine are just finishing chemo and radiation.

One of my friends (chemobabe) likened treatment to a pit, a giant chasm, that is difficult to traverse, that when you are in it, it is hard to see the light of day.That is a great analogy. When you are going through chemo or surgery or radiation it is hard, and it is hard to even see the light of day.  It seems like it is a tiny spec of light in a giant dark pit.  When you are surrounded by the darkness it is hard to even imagine you will see that light, that you will ever be done, let alone get close to it, but day by day you get closer and closer, maybe an inch here or there every day. 

Many of my new friends on Facebook are just starting, and they are hoping to see the light of day.  I have to tell you this.  When you are in the chasm it seems like you will never get out.

I know that feeling.

That was 2 years ago.  Now I can barely remember what it was like.  Only when I read other survivors comments does it take me back to those moments.  I am glad it is a fading distant memory.

Leaving you with lyrics from Bruce Springsteen's "Light of Day"

Well I'm a little down under, but I'm feeling O.K.
I got a little lost along the way

Just around the corner to the light of day.

Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday~Friday 10-noon eastern standard time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now and also available on itunes. 

Celebration list or a list of moments

I was recently talking to a friend of mine, and fellow warrior about how I hate the term Bucket List.  First of all I watched the movie during my treatment, got it as a screener from a group I belong to.  Sometimes they don't tell you what the movies are about.  Again I think holy shit another freakin movie about cancer, can't get away from it.

 The Bucket list.  I know its supposed to make you think of all great things to do before you die or kick the bucket.  Now I get what they were going for, in the basic sense, Jack Nicholson, Morgan Freeman, add a bit of cancer and hilarity ensues right?  Two guys from the opposite end of the spectrum coming together at the end of their life and creating a list of things they want to do before they die.

Why focus on the negative part?  Like I said before I was lamenting about this to a fellow warrior and she said don't call it a bucket list just a list of moments.

I like that

I will call it my celebration list.

I, like many survivors, have faced my own mortality, and at any age that is difficult and scary, so I don't want to focus on things to do before I die, I want to focus on things to do while I am still here, alive and kicking


My celebration list, which isn't really written down, it is, like my friend said, a list of moments.

I know no one here gets out alive, but we all want to be a little scrappy while we are here, so lets not focus on the die part, bucket, kick the bucket etc. (if director of The Bucket List Rob Reiner were here I would call him a meathead like his nemesis Archie Bunker did in the tv series All in the family)

Mel is the producer of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern standard time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand now and also available on itunes.

MELATHON

Another guest blogger.  Enjoy

Mel was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma breast cancer on 9/18/07. Because of her employment, she was and is still not eligible for full health care coverage. Mel was only able to get some very basic coverage at her own expense. The result, she owes the hospital and doctors over $20,000. She has only been able to make small payments against this large debt. Now, the wolves are at her door, calling, process serving letters etc, wanting it all now. The only way she will be able to do this now, is to declare bankruptcy!


We were working in the radio station this past Friday. She told me a process server came by this week with papers, she started to cry. She said, "My docs, they will not get a penny if I go bankrupt, my doctors have become my friends, they saved my life, how can I do that to them?"



Mel has turned her life over to helping people cope with cancer issues. Those of us friends and co-workers who know Mel, know that she is a tireless advocate for cancer awareness and never complains about her personal situation. She is always fun and upbeat and likes to bring joy into peoples lives, because she has her life back. As one of her friends, it is my hope, that all of us together can chip in to help her out now. It is impossible for her to raise this kind of money in a short time.



We were thinking about doing a local fundraiser for her in the Spring, but now there is no more time.


As one of her friends, I'm begging you to forgo those pizzas this month....or that elegant dinner for two you were planning, No gift is too big or to small. Please help our friend Mel Majoros, who has helped so many. Please be as generous as you can. $20,000 plus is a lot of money to one person, but not to the hundreds of us who care about Mel. We can do it!



Please send your gift to: Mel Majoros

Po Box 148

Petoskey, MI 49770



Please make sure that your check is made payable to: "Mel Majoros"



Do not include the words cancer appeal or fund in the payable line. However, you can put that in your memo section if you wish.



Also, if it is easier for you to Paypal your gift,

you can send it to: thecancerwarrior@gmail.com, or click on the paypal link at the top of this blog




Feel free to repost this on your personal Facebook page or blog with your own personal appeal.





Brian E. Brachel is the Chief Engineer for MacDonald Garber Broadcasting and the General Manager of Baraga Broadcasting, Catholic Radio for Northern Michigan.  You can contact him at
Brian.Brachel@106khq.com


Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen Live 10am-noon Monday-Friday eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand now and also available on itunes.

FRED

 

If you are a frequent reader of my blog you know I had an pelvic ultrasound, which included a transvaginal ultrasound , as well as a uterine biopsy.  That is where the doctor found Fred, a uterine polyp. Fred was biopsied.   I am happy to report the results were that Fred was benign.  Fred is very small and doesn't need to be removed.  Fred gave me a few nights of worry, I will admit that.  I still don't know how doctors and techs have any kind of clue of what they are looking at on scans and ultrasounds, that is why they get the big bucks I suppose.  So I am still lucky. I am still in remission, and I have to constantly remind myself not to stress myself out about  things that I have no control over, like these kinds of medical issues, financial issues, of which I have many, like most cancer patients I have lots of medical bills.  I am lucky though, I have great insurance, it doesn't cover everything, but as my fiance said last night, it could be worse, there are lots of people who owe more than I do, and that is true.  I have always said I would rather be broke than dead.  The collection people keep calling, and I am working on getting a second job, and paying my doctors back is very important to me, after all they did save my life.  But like I said, I am alive, I am in remission.  I am able to blog here and do my podcast to help other survivors.  I am lucky.  Sometimes it takes something like Fred to remind me of that.

Mel is the producer/co-host of the Vic McCarty show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon eastern standard time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now and also available on itunes

Bowling for Breastcancer.org live event

Live Bowling for Breastcancer.org

Click on the link on February 11th  from 6pm to 10pm for a live feed.

For more info on this great event go to my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com 

available on demand now.

Steve Jobs Of Apple Had Cancer Last Year

Another guest blog.  Enjoy 

Apple CEO Steve Jobs is one of the most well known business personalities in recent times. Very few know, however, that he is a cancer patient.

Steve was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2004. Called islet cell neuroendocrine tumor, this is a rare form of pancreatic cancer, which required Jobs to have a tumor removed from his pancreas. The process is called pancreaticoduodenectomy (or "Whipple procedure"), and it appeared that the tumor had been successfully removed. He was not required to have chemo or radiation.

Late in 2008, Bloomberg mistakenly published an obituary of Steve Jobs, with date and cause of death left blank. Though this was quickly corrected, this fueled intense speculation about his health. Then, in January, 2009, Jobs took a 6 month leave from work “on health concerns.” While he continued to implicitly deny questions about cancer, it has been known that he underwent a liver replacement surgery in April, 2009 in Memphis, TN. 

Ordinarily, a liver replacement requires patients to be on a waitlist until a donor is found. But Jobs’ private jet enabled him to get on two waitlists simultaneously, and he chose Memphis. Over 6000 liver transplants are performed in the US every year, but region 11 of the United Network for Organ Sharing, to which Memphis belongs, has a relatively shorter waiting period. 

A liver transplant operation is a lengthy process. It can take anywhere from between 5-6 hours to more than 10 hours in cases of complications. The transplant requires a large incision in the stomach (upper abdomen). The liver is removed after cutting a number of ligaments that hold it in place, as well as several ducts, arteries and veins.

While a new liver is being procured from a recently deceased donor, the blood from the liver is replaced with a very cold liquid. The new liver has to be placed in the empty liver cavity and tied to the severed ligaments, ducts and blood vessels. To prevent the body from rejecting the foreign organ, patients are often required to take immunosuppressive drugs throughout their lives.

The surgery is followed by a lengthy recovery process, but the survival rate is pretty high. Survival rate of 5 plus years is over 90 percent at good facilities. 

In Steve Jobs’  case, recovery was said to have been splendid. He was said to have completely recouped from the procedure. Medical experts say that if Jobs did this procedure, it means that even if his cancer had spread to the liver, it did not metastasize any further. That is because most hospitals will not perform a liver transplant on you if your cancer had already spread beyond the liver. 

Apple is perhaps one of the most widely known and generally liked companies of today. It has been led by Steve Jobs’ innovation and smart business sense. It is sad that somebody like Jobs has had to go through this at the pretty early age of 50. But, perhaps, even something as evil as cancer can produce some good results, probably in the form of a research endorsement from Jobs to discover better treatments for liver cancer.

About the guest blogger:


We've got everything you need to know about arthritis. But if there is a question unanswered, send us an email and we will answer your question to the best of our knowledge, or at least will give you the resources to help you reach your goal. We are a group of caregivers whose family members are suffering from arthritis. This condition is a very common disease and has caused much distress to their victims. Nearly 1 in 5 adults have some form of arthritis. That's 46 million Americans affected. Americans age 65 and over are most likely at risk, but two-thirds of the cases are under 65. Women are more at risk than men. Please help us spread the word for prevention.


matthewr.chan@yahoo.com

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show 10am-Noon Monday-Friday eastern standard time.  Listen live on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior available on demand now on Empoweradio.com

SNOWGLOBE

Having cancer is like living in a snowglobe.  Everything is going along fine and then suddenly everything gets shaken up. When I mean everything I mean EVERYTHING life,love,jobs,family,friendships,money,emotions, vanity,anger, happiness,depression, pretty much anything you can imagine in your life gets all mixed together in one giant shaking of the globe.

What reminded me of this was when I was at work and was watching it snow outside (don't tell the boss that I wasn't paying attention to the game for a few minutes) the big flakes falling slowly to the ground.  How beautiful, how ironic.  Ironic that I would pick something that is usually a souvenir of a vacation, or in one good friend of mines case, something silly, I would try to find the most ridiculous snowglobe I could, usually something from the 99 cent store would suffice.  Something you would look at to remind you of the good times.

But not the cancer snowglobe. By the time you realize everything has been shaken up you have no idea where you are, whats going on or what to  do.  That is what cancer can do to you.  I am still feeling like my snowglobe is still being shaken.  Trying to deal with survivorship, figuring out how to pay the mounting medical bills, (oh I was excited to see I actually got a bill in the mail I could afford. Never thought I would be happy to see a bill) work, having this damn cold, of which the fatigue level reminds me of cancer fatigue, cancer advocacy, trying to find time to see Doug, see friends, you get it.  

When you shake a snowglobe nothing is in the same place as it was before.  That is how I feel sometimes.  I still struggle with survivorship, with life after cancer, with the new normal.  None of this I had asked for.  A little over a year of fierce snowglobe shaking during treatment, now just a quick shake here~ here is a doctor bill you weren't expecting, and there~wait you want to take a trip somewhere?  Think again, all your money goes to crazy foolish things like rent and food and bills. Shake, shake shake.

Next time I go on vacation, I will skip buying a snowglobe and get myself a T shirt.

Mel is the producer/co-host of the Vic McCarty Show Monday-Friday 10am-Noon eastern standard time.  Listen live wmktthetalkstation.com

 Check out my podcast available on demand now and also available on Itunes.

Mind over Matter

I had that exam (that I blogged about in my previous blog) today, and another ultrasound.  Still looked like the moon, but at least this time the doctor explained what I was looking at.  These aren't the kind of exams that you look forward to, well then again what exams are?  I haven't heard of anyone I know looking forward to a pap test or any other kind of similar test.  The doctor put me at ease right away.  He said he hoped that I spoke to him after this procedure. Apparently I have a uterine polyp.  The doctor asked what I should name it. Trying to make me laugh.  That is a good one, usually I am the one who is the class clown. I named it Fred.  Don't ask me why.

Then came the biopsy.  Now the whole exam, biopsy and part where they keep you there so you don't pass out lasted about an hour. Now I am not going to tell you what the procedure entailed, but I can tell you this: When you are actually having a procedure done time stands still.  I know it didn't take that long because I brought my ipod.  Something to focus on while they are doing whatever they need to do and getting whatever they need to get.  It only took about 3 songs for the biopsy to be done. It was pretty painful.  At one point I recall making a fist and really wanting to punch someone. When the doc was over I asked him if he was going to insert any other major appliances in there.  He and his nurse laughed.

Then they make you lie down so you don't have a vasovagal episode.  Medical term for passing out. So I laid there. Got thirsty asked for water.  Got water. Lights were bright.  Nurse turned the lights off.  Ok.  after a little while I decided I wanted to go.  Got up started to get dressed.  I am not sure if the room spun or if I did but I decided it was a good idea to lay back down.  Nurse comes back in.  Told her I got dizzy.  Raised the seat up so I would be sitting, she thought that was a good idea, that would make it so I would be less dizzy.  Sat there for a while.  Now during all this time my radio show was going on and I was missing it.  I do have a puritan work ethic, I don't like missing work, but obviously this was an important reason to miss it.

So there I sat.  Waiting for my dizziness to subside.  I looked at my watch and it said 11:15.

I actually thought to myself. "This is bullshit.  I am a cancer survivor and a hockey player.  I need to suck it up and go." 

I finished getting dressed.  Opened the door.  The doctor and I exchanged pleasantries, he said I looked good standing up.  Funny guy.

He said not to be too concerned about the polyp.  He didn't think it was cancer.  Ha, I have heard that one before.

I don't feel as nervous as I did before I had the test.  I am cautiously optimistic that Fred is benign.

Results will be in in a few days.

Again I wait.

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty show. Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-Noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com.

Check out my podcast available on demand now on Empoweradio.com and on itunes.

Can't Find Your Words? Say Chemo Brain.

Another guest blogger

By Idelle Davidson

You know it's just on the tip of your tongue.  It's a word that has a "ka" sound in the beginning and a "tah" sound somewhere at the end.  And you can almost see it, but then darn, it's gone.  Perhaps later, when you're rushing to slap dinner on the table, that stupid word, so maddeningly elusive just hours before will pop right into your head, as if it were all just some silly misunderstanding between you and your brain.

I'm guessing that if you've had chemo and have experienced the fog that often follows, then you know what I'm talking about, right?  It's not that you can't comprehend language, it's that you can't retrieve it.  It's like the arcade game where you maneuver levers to grab a prize.  You just can't get the prongs low enough or tight enough around that plastic key chain before it slips away.

In a 2006 study of the side effects experienced by 26 women undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer, language (including fluency, verbal repetition, reading, and writing to dictation) was the most severely affected cognitive function, followed by memory. (Source: F. Downie, Psycho-Oncology 15 -2006: 921-930).  That's not entirely surprising considering that chemotherapy not only may affect language but the speed in which we process information.

One woman I interviewed for "Your Brain After Chemo" had this to say: "It is painful when people look at me with confusion while I am trying to talk.  I know that I'm not making sense, and I don't know how else to talk.  When it happens I die a million deaths and feel very dumb."    

Have you experienced word retrieval problems during or following chemotherapy?  Have you found ways to compensate?  If so, please share what has worked for you.

Bio: Idelle Davidson is an award-winning journalist, a cancer survivor, and co-author (with Dr. Dan Silverman at UCLA) of YOUR BRAIN AFTER CHEMO: A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO LIFTING THE FOG AND GETTING BACK YOUR FOCUS (available in bookstores and on Amazon.com). http://www.amazon.com/Your-Brain-after-Chemo-Practical/dp/0738212598].

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen Live Monday-Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast available on demand now on itunes and empoweradio.com

The Return

Most people don't understand why I play hockey.  It is mostly a guys sport. When I tell people I play they just give me "that look"  you know the one, oh right YOU play hockey, you must get in a lot of fights on the ice.  I never have, actually I am rather mellow, besides, we all have to work the next morning so..

I got started playing hockey because of a vendor of mine in Los Angeles.  He gave me free tickets to see the Kings play at Staples Center.  I was immediately hooked.  I was looking to get in shape and I figured if I learned how to skate and bought all the equipment I would have no choice but to play.  Hockey is an expensive sport. 

I started playing co-ed hockey in Burbank, CA.  Burbank Bruins.  There were two other girls on the team.While we had fun, our team was in last place.  Did I mention the other two girls just started playing too?  I had so much fun.  I still have the puck from my first goal I scored.  Somehow I ended up on my ass perpendicular to the goal.  I looked over and it just barely crossed the line.  I was stoked.  We lost the game, but I still remember that moment.

Cancer took a lot from me.  Playing hockey today gave me some of that back.

I am tired, I am sore, my muscles ache.  But I haven't felt this good in a long time

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show Monday~Friday 10am-Noon eastern standard time.  Listen live on wmktthetalkstation.com.

Check out my podcast on Empoweradio.com available on demand now

Keeping your Mind and Body Healthy

Another guest blog.  Enjoy

Everyone knows the basics: Eat Right. Exercise often. Don’t walk through fields of radioactive dust, or dance in acid rain. The following 7 suggestions are great new ideas to keep your chin up, stay healthy and live life to the fullest.


1. Write. This isn’t writing an email to your boss. This is deep, soul searching and honest writing. When you face a stressful situation, particularly a difficult decision, write. Putting thoughts on paper helps you work it out, which reduces stress, thereby increasing your health.



2. Go to a comedy club, an improvisation group, or an Off-Broadway comedy. The laughter, with the socialization and environment will do your body and mind a world of good.



3. Go Shopping, but not for yourself. Instead, pick a friend. Think about them and where they are in life. Consider their needs and desires. Go out and buy them something amazing. Then give it to them anonymously. It will feel great, especially if you are asked to help figure out who it was.


4. Go Curling. Curling is a crazy sport, with strange and unusual rules. Not only is it entertaining, but it is also a great physical activity, and provides social interaction, too!


5. Restock your first aid kit. You never know when you’ll need another dozen alcohol pads and that giant knee bandage you used last summer. This allows you to take stock of where you are, and be more prepared in the future.


6. Dance. Whether it is a partner dance like ballroom or square dancing, or an individual dance like hip hop or belly dancing, these activities are physically amazing, and increase self esteem as well.



7. Make a list of 10 things you’ve always wanted to do. Set these as goals, and find ways to work toward them. Making and achieving goals is crucial to living happily.

 About the guest blogger:

We've got everything you need to know about arthritis. But if there is a question unanswered, send us an email and we will answer your question to the best of our knowledge, or at least will give you the resources to help you reach your goal. We are a group of caregivers whose family members are suffering from arthritis. This condition is a very common disease and has caused much distress to their victims. Nearly 1 in 5 adults have some form of arthritis. That's 46 million Americans affected. Americans age 65 and over are most likely at risk, but two-thirds of the cases are under 65. Women are more at risk than men. Please help us spread the word for prevention.

matthewr.chan@yahoo.com


Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show 10am-Noon Monday-Friday eastern standard time.  Listen live on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior available on demand now on Empoweradio.com

Goodbye Old Friend....

Peripheral neuropathy.

Defined by dictionary.com as Function: noun : a disease or degenerative state (as polyneuropathy) of the peripheral nerves in which motor, sensory, or vasomotornerve fibers may be affected and which is marked by muscle weakness and atrophy, pain, and numbness

You know what it feels like when your foot falls asleep?  Well imagine that intensified. Lucky me my friendship with neuropathy began after chemo ended.  I know I have written about it before, but really? After I am done with the toxic chemicals being injected into me I get a side effect.  Great. Thanks for that. A little bonus I wasn't expecting.

I started chemo on November 12th 2007 and finished up with (herceptin) treatment on December 29, 2008. I finished my chemo some time in April of 2008, I have the exact date in an old cell phone of mine,( have to get those milestone dates out of that phone before it gets tossed) My neuropathy started soon after that.

April 2008, and it just ended.  Or at least I hope.  I haven't had it in a couple of weeks.  So I guess it is gone.

December 2009~so that means my neuropathy, that tingling annoying pain sock, which was so painful at first that it was almost too much to bear, that tingling I got used to having, when I went to bed at night it would, if I was on my feet for a long period of time, would crawl up my leg up to my knee like spider creeping up its web, that after a while it was more of a nuisance that anything else, lasted longer than my treatment.  Longer than all of my treatments combined, including surgery, chemo, herceptin, and radiation. 

My treatment lasted 14 months.  My neuropathy lasted 20.

I almost don't want to post this blog, as if posting it will make it come back.

Ha ha but I am posting it anyway {gulp}

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern standard time.  Listen live on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com

The Chart

I have been talking to a lot of survivors for my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  It has made me think of a lot of things that have happened to me.  I remember when I was diagnosed I actually thought to myself  "Well they must have someone else's chart."  Yeah right.  I live in a town of about 8 thousand people. My last name is Majoros.  I am the only Majoros in the phone book.  Pretty sure it was my diagnosis, unfortunately. I recall being really pissed at my doctor for not telling me what kind of breast cancer I had (the ultrasound tech told me  which I guess is a real no-no) at that time my chart was only a couple of pages. She showed me that she didn't have the info, flipping between the 5 pages in my chart.  Now its the size of a small book, the Gutenberg Bible of me.  Whenever I go to the doctor I look at my chart and wish it was much smaller, and that chart is only for 2 years. 

I was talking to another breast cancer survivor about her treatment, which was similar to mine, and we were discussing our side effects and medications.  Its kind of funny to think about it like we were discussing parts of a recipe, ok if you add zofran to your benadryl whisk lightly with herceptin, sleep for an hour, then repeat every three weeks you will feel better!!  We talked about hair loss, which I am still in awe of people who will go out in public with a bald head.  Those who know me know I am not that shy, but when it came to that I was.

We were talking about how taboo it used to be to even say the word cancer, it was spoken of in hushed tones.  Like you would say the whole sentence, then whisper the word cancer, as if to even speak it would bring it out like Beetlejuice.

Now many of my survivor friends shout it from the rooftops, well the modern version of it anyway, with blogs and podcasts and facebook posts and tweets.  We know what its like.  We want everyone to know about it.  We don't want anyone else to get it.  I personally don't want to welcome another person to the club no one wants to join.


Someone I respect called me a brave woman.  I still don't understand why.  I was told I had cancer.  I am kind of stubborn,  I don't back down from a fight.  If you play hockey against you know it doesn't matter if you are five foot six or six foot five, if you have the puck, and I want it I will go after it, I may not get it the first time, but dammit you will see me, you will hear me and you will remember me.


Mel is the producer/cohost of The Vic McCarty Show Monday -Friday 10am-noon eastern time.  Listen live on wmktthetalkstation.com 

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio. Available on demand now.

Win great Save the Tatas gear

Save the Tatas.  I have written about them before.  I have had the founder Julia Field Fikse on The Vic McCarty show.  They have always been great with giveaways.  Now I want to pass on the giveaways to you.  I have the t-shirts, sweatshirt, and hoodie seen here as well as the magnets, bumper stickers and two key chains.  All you have to do to get one is email me at thecancerwarrior@gmail.com  You will have to pay for shipping, but that is a pretty good deal for a sweatshirt, t shirt or sticker.   I will post winners here on my blog.

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon on www.wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now. 

$3,000

 The original title of Pretty Woman was $3,000.  No this blog post isn't about that. Its about a genetic test that I am going to have.  The photo is of  the mutated  BRCA gene.  Many breast cancer survivors have this gene.  It is a mutation of a gene that if you have it you have it and you have breast cancer you have a higher risk of having ovarian cancer.  I haven't had the test yet.  I called my oncologist to see if I have had it yet, and he said no.  He said I would have remembered having it because it costs about $3,000.  I thought, hahaha doc you haven't seen my medical bills, three grand is a drop in the bucket. 

 I have insurance, but it may not cover it.  Will I get the test if it isn't covered?  Yes.  Why would I want to put myself deeper in the hole financially for a simple blood test?  For one it would tell me if I am at a higher risk for other cancers.  Having gone through chemo once is enough thanks.  It was a long year going through treatment and I certainly don't want to do that again, and would do anything I can not to go through that again. 

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon eastern standard time on www.wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now.

Ponytail

Its not a picture of my ponytail, mine isn't as long....yet. 

Most cancer survivors remember dates very well, date of diagnosis, surgery dates, chemo dates, dates our lives changed forever and when we had to adjust to this new normal we call survivorship.  One date that is difficult for me to forget is Nov 28.  Not only is it my Mom's birthday, it is also the date I had my head shaved, because the Adryamicin/Cytoxan made my hair fall out. I still remember Sandy the nurse telling me I should get my head shaved because my hair would fall out in 2 weeks.  Haha I remember thinking I could beat the odds of 99.99% of the chance of losing my hair.  Good one.

Two weeks to the day of my first chemo, which was Nov 12, 2007 my hair started falling out.  Nothing like taking a nice hot shower in the winter and having your long dark lockes of hair come out in clumps in the shower.  A few days later I went in after hours to my salon La Dolce Vita in Petoskey and had my stylist Val shave my head.  Doug, my fiance and my neighbor Stacey came along with me for moral support.  I thought about having more people there, kind of a head shaving party, but it was hard enough to keep it together when my hair was falling out.  My only regret of that night is that I didn't take pictures of the whole process. I think it would have made the long winter months without my hair and the little peach fuzz on my head more bearable.

I am not a vain person, as I have written before.  I rarely, if ever wear makeup.  Unless its a special occasion you will normally find me in shirts of sports teams, cancer organizations, bands or the like.  Hair I think, as breasts do, define you as a woman in society.  Not having any was really difficult.  Glad I went through treatment during the winter time, so I didn't have to explain myself why I was bald.

Being bald, chemo and all that seems like so long ago, a mere two years. Just a drop in the bucket of time.  I have actually had several haircuts and gotten my hair colored.

Now my hair is just long enough to put in a ponytail.

Life is pretty sweet isn't it?

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-Noon eastern standard time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand now

What are you thankful for?

Thanksgiving. A day off of work for most.  A day to spend with family, watch football and eat, eat eat.

Every family has their own tradition.  Doug and I go out to eat with his Dad and Uncle at the Perry Hotel, they put on a fantastic buffet and it is well known in the area for its food.

As I was eating the turkey and roast beef tonight I couldn't help but think what I am thankful for.  When I was diagnosed two years ago I had to give up alot in order to stay well.  I had to stop working at the serving job I had, not only could I not lift any trays because of the operation I had, the doctors told me I couldn't be there because of my low white blood cell count.  Being around a lot of people who potentially had colds wouldn't be good for my health, white blood cells fight infection, and mine being low I probably would have gotten really sick, like cancer wasn't enough of being sick right?  Luckily, as they say here in Northern Michigan a view of the Bay is half your pay, so like most people I had two jobs.  I was still able to work at the radio station.

There was a lot of food I couldn't eat.  I was advised not to eat fresh veggies during treatment, because they may not be washed properly.  You never really realize what you enjoy until you aren't able to have it.  I thought I really would kill someone for a big salad!!!  Some food I couldn't eat just because it was too hard on me, like anything acidic.  Tell that to someone whose mom makes awesome italian food!!! Tomatoes were off the list for a while.  Funny that I can still talk about food after stuffing my face today at the buffet.

I still worked but I was basically a hermit for a year.  For someone like me, not really a social butterfly, but I like being out with people, going out, hanging with friends.  It was work, doctor visits, home,sleep, eat, sleep, repeat.  Thank goodness that is over with.

I recently got the all clear from my oncologist.  Blood tests look good, mammography was normal.  See you in six months he said.  Got the same news from the radiologist, I don't need to see him until next year.  Hoping for a hat trick when I see my surgeon on Tuesday.

I am thankful for a lot of things, friends, family, all the people who have helped me through this, whether you realized it or not, thank you.

 

Nothing to fear?

I have been thinking about this post for a while.  Something that all survivors think about, but don't want to talk about. Fear of recurrence.  I don't know ANY friends of mine that are survivors who don't think about this at least at least once. Mostly during times close to doctors appointments.  Yeah that's right I have an oncology appointment in about a week.  Although I don't expect anything bad, there is always that thought, what if?  What if it comes back?  What if the meds I took to get rid of my breast cancer caused some other cancer, yes, that's right, side effects of some of the chemo drugs are other cancers.  I can almost picture one of those happy commercials for Adrymicin/Cytoxan, (the chemo drug that made my pee turn red and made my hair fall out) with the family out for a picnic talking about A/C and happily discussing the potential liver disease and bladder cancer you could get as one of the possible side effects.

Whenever my docs explained the side effects and listed them off, I remember I said no thanks I don't want any of those, as if I had a choice of side effects, no thanks to the seizures, but I will take the chills, fever and hallucinations.

 Fear of recurrence.  It is real.  It is a side effect that I believe every cancer survivor gets, funny how its not on any list that I have seen.  It doesn't happen often, mostly near doctors appointments, especially if I get a scan or a blood test, or near the anniversary of when I was diagnosed, when I had my surgery or some similar cancer related event.    Even unrelated tests can make you nervous.  I remember when my docs office called with the results of my pap test I held my breath a little until the nurse said normal.

As another oncology appointment approaches the thought is in the back of my mind. The odds are in my favor for being cancer free, but there is always that what if?

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty show. Listen live Monday-Friday eastern standard time on wmktthetalkstation.com.

Check out my show The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com