I am Ripley

This blog was originally posted on stupidcancer.com

I am a fan of movies, tv, sports and popular culture. My head is filled with useless information that would only be good if we were playing trivial pursuit (Do people still play that anymore?). I suppose you are wondering what the reference in my title means. I have been thinking about how you are never cured from cancer because, well, there is no cure. So I am like Ripley, the main character in the movie Alien. I have fought the beast and won, but is it over? Is cancer really gone from my body? Is it eradicated like the Alien at the end of the movie, blown out into deep space? Are there other Aliens out there somewhere… lurking ready to strike when least expected?

Cancer is like the Alien from the movie. It is big and scary and you don’t really know how you are going to deal with a big ugly monster like that until you stare it in the face. Do you run and hide and hope that it wont get you? Or do you stand and fight and kick its ass?.

I chose the latter.

I am Ripley.

What a difference a year makes...

This past weekend I was in the fourth of July parade. I was part of the Relay for Life float. It is the second time I was a part of the parade. Last year I was still going through treatment and I was so tired I couldn't even walk the parade route. I rode on the float with another survivor, an 8 year old girl. Its not that I was embarrased or anything that I was riding on the float. I was pissed off that cancer wouldn't allow me to walk.

Actually it wasn't cancer, it was hypothyroidism, which was probably a side effect of radiation, so it was because of cancer, indirectly, not directly. I was so tired that I tried to take a nap before the fireworks that night. It was hard to nap in the car. Parking sucks during the holidays we didn't want to lose our parking spot so we relaxed in the car until it was time for the show.

But back to this year. I started the day off at 10am in at the Dog look a like contest in Harbor Springs. Vic was the emcee of the event. After that I walked around with a friend at the art fair there. I stayed in Harbor Springs for about 4 hours until the parade started then I jetted out of there to go home to relax before the Petoskey parade.

I relaxed and watched some bad movie on cable then went to the location where the float was lined up for the parade. The day was beautiful and I was reminded of how I felt last year, how tired I was, and how bound and determined I was to walk in the parade, not ride in the float.

So yes I walked proudly in the parade. I actually walked a lot that day. Once the parade was over Doug and I walked around town until it was time for the fireworks, stopping of course to eat
and enjoy some ice cream on a nice hot summer evening.

The fireworks were awesome and they were the perfect ending to the weekend, which was also Doug's birthday weekend.

What a difference a year makes.

ICON

We have all heard about the sad death of Farrah Fawcett. Right now I am watching an episode of Charlie's Angels, the show that launched her to superstardom. She only appeared in the first season of the show but of course she made an impression.

People who didn't grow up in the 60s & 70s don't realize that there were not that many shows that had strong women as the leads on shows. I grew up with the Angels and Wonder Woman. We didn't have the shows with lots of strong female leads like today like Mariska Hartigay on Law & Order SVU or any of the Desperate Housewives.

I know people who watch the shows now will say it is dated and, during its time it was called jiggle tv, but still these ladies were my heroes none the less.

Farrah died of anal cancer. According to the American Cancer Society there are only 5,000 new cases of anal cancer every year, with about 680 deaths. The type of cancer she died of didn't have a walk or an awareness month. In fact, I, like most people I am sure, have never heard of anal cancer until Farrah Fawcett was diagnosed with it.

I watched, or I should say, I tried to watch Farrah's Story when it first aired. It was real, it was gripping, and for me it cut a little to close to home. Watching her story was difficult, I think everyone who has been diagnosed and watches someone who films their life or watches a movie of the week about someone who has cancer sees a little bit of themselves in that person, and I am no exception. Watching Farrah want to cut off her blonde locks that made her so famous in the 70's so that she would lose her hair on her own terms was a reminder of something that I had gone through (shaving my head that is) I couldn't watch the entire two hours of Farrah's Story. It was too hard for me to watch, although I was hoping to muster up the courage to watch the entire 2 hour movie and hopefully the sequel, but sadly that will never come.

Obviously how every person deals with cancer and chemo is different, but I could relate to a lot of the things she was going through, and I applaud her for going public with her very personal battle, bringing light to a disease, showing people that if an american icon like her can get this insidious disease then anyone can.

Farrah was only 12 years older than me when she passed. 12 years. That is not much older than me. That is first thru twelfth grade, barely a blip in time in the universe.

All three of the original Charlies Angels battled cancer, Kate Jackson and Jaclyn Smith had breast cancer, they battled the disease and both are currently in remission.

So as the night, and a tribute to Farrah comes to a close, I applaud you & thank you Farrah Fawcett, thank you for showing the world what cancer is like, I didn't see it from a celebrities perspective, just from a woman's perspective. You had a great impact on me when I was a young girl and you have had a far greater impact on me now.

Extreme makeover

Today I had fun at a makeover event sponsored by the local chamber and several local salons. It was a great even full of beautiful transformations of local women in the community. I met some great people and hung out with some good friends.

After I got home I started to think about my own transformation, not one of makeup and haircolor but from chemo and side effects.

Almost all the people who I know here in Michigan didn't know me before all of this, when I worked in the entertainment industry, when I worked 16 hour days, played hockey 3 days a week, barely had any time for Doug or my friends.

I grew up in a town smaller than I live in now, wanted to get out and go to Los Angeles and work in the entertainment industry. Hollywood is a strange place. Everything centers around entertainment and it is easy to get caught up in things that seem important, but are not, like award shows, who is eating where, who is with who, celebrity sightings (ok I still love to hear about that one, my coolest one by the way was Ginger Rogers at a gas station in Hollywood, she wasn't pumping the gas of course) well you get the routine.

When I decided to leave LA, it was a tough decision, I knew I would moving back to a small town, and I thought I loved winter, I do, but do they have to be so damn long??

Ok I digress back to the transformation. I guess I was into the whole "LA scene" I didn't go clubbing, ok if you know me the thought of that must be hilarious, but was into the award shows(they changed the day of the oscars from during the week to the weekend so people wouldn't leave work early to watch the show), and caught up into all of it.

Now its been been over 5 years and I have been through an extreme makeover of my own, some of my own design, but most from cancer.

I don't think that I am as self involved as I used to be, and entertainment isn't as important as it used to be. I still enjoy watching a good tv show and see if my friends names are in the credits.

With being on the radio I can inform people on several different topics, and, like tonight, we told people about some great salons and the money went to a great cause.

I don't think my own extreme makeover is complete, not yet anyway, and I think its ironic that I am speaking in public and on the radio, I never wanted to be in the public eye growing up and now I am doing public service announcements. Someone called me a tv star. Too funny for someone who always wanted to stay in the background.

"It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change." —Charles Darwin

The road not traveled...

I recently was involved in a charity bike ride. It was in memory of someone who had lost their battle with breast cancer. I saw many survivors and friends and relatives of people who had lost loved ones to this disease. I gave a little speech, I offered to, although I never know why the hell anyone wants to hear what I have to say, and I rode about 7-10 miles, stopping to visit a friend of mine who owns a business nearby.

Early detection, luck, personal trainers, doctors and a lot of prayer helped to save my life, and for that I am grateful.

I guess that is why I advocate so hard for a cure to this disease. I am in remission, but I still feel the effects almost every single day, but I am lucky, I am alive, I can speak out and talk about it. I know so many others who don't want to talk about their cancer, which is fine. I have a voice and a way to reach other people, in this blog, on various social networking sites, on the radio and wherever anyone can hear the sound of my voice. I don't want anyone else to go through this, that is for damn sure.

Just one more hour...

6 years ago today my Dad passed away. A couple of weeks from now it will be father's day. I have written about him before because I miss him dearly. I think about him almost every day. I wonder what he would have thought about my battle with cancer, my job as an on air personality on the radio. I wish he got to see me play hockey, I think he would have liked that most of all. To see Majoros on the back of a jersey skating around kicking butt. I think I would have enjoyed teaching him the rules of hockey, he was more of a football fan, but since I play I think he would have had fun watching his little girl get a Gordie Howe hat trick (a goal, an assist and a fight, although I have never gotten into a fight on the ice, he would have gotten a kick out of it I am sure)

One of my favorite songs is "Me and Bobby McGee" written by Kris Kristofferson and sung by Janis Joplin, one of the best blues singers of all time. There is a line in that song "I'd give up my tomorrows for one single yesterday.." Now I wouldn't give up my tomorrows, I love life and I am always amazed and excited for new things, and even every day things, but I would have liked to spend just one more hour with my Dad. Tell him about all the things that have happened to me since 2003. I am lucky that he met my fiance Doug and liked him. Doug and I haven't set a date for our wedding just yet, but it is one event that I would love to have my Dad at, to walk me down the aisle.

My Dad was a great man, was the best father a girl could ever ask for. If I was to have that hour I would tell him that as much as I love him I am a little upset at him for robbing me of our time together. As I blogged before he had diabetes, and I am pretty sure he never checked his blood sugar like he did. Wanted to live life on his own terms. I think about that often because I read more and more things about people not going to the doctor because they don't have insurance or they hate doctors or some other excuse. Yes my Dad lived the way he wanted to, but if he could have seen what it did to him at the end and the precious time it robbed from being with his family I think he would have changed his mind.

A few good lyrics to leave you with from Nickleback
"so do whatever it takes
'cause you can't rewind
a moment in this life
let nothing stand in your way
cause the hands of time are never on your side"

I have great memories of my Dad and I and am grateful for that.

Happy Fathers Day Dad.

Tiaras in Lansing

This is a picture of the 2008 Ms. Michigan Ashlee Baracy and I at the state capitol in Lansing, Michigan. I just came home from attending the Celebration at the Capitol for the American Cancer Society. We were there to talk to the legislators to convince them to make Michigan smoke free. We met with our Representative and Senator. One of them totally agreed with the bill, the other one didn't. While I have to respect the decision of our lawmakers, I don't have to understand it. Unless you have been touched by cancer in some way I guess you wouldn't understand why I would want Michigan smoke free.

Doesn't it make sense to have restaurants and bars smoke free? For the health of the workers and the patrons? Now some would say that if you don't want to breath smoke you should eat somewhere else, but don't I have the right to eat a meal with out worrying about getting another form of cancer? Some people will say the workers can just "get another job" Really? Have you tried looking for work now days? And what if they have been working at a restaurant or bar for years, should they just give up their seniority to find a job somewhere else?


Yes smokers have rights just like anyone else, but I have the right to go to eat and not breathe in their smoke.

Is it too much to ask not to be put at risk of cancer from second hand smoke when I go out to eat at any restaurant?

Mel is the producer of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen live weekdays 10am-noon eastern on wmktthetalkstation.com