Legacy

I lost a good friend on Monday. Found out about it the next day.  Figures the one day I decided to stay off the internet.  It was hard to learn that Don Wilhelm had passed away from a long battle with cancer.  Found out about it during The Vic McCarty Show.  Hard to do a live radio broadcast when you find out that news.  Hard to do much of anything.  Even the pilates class I had that day did little for me.


I can't even remember how Don & I met.   Probably through stupid cancer or Matt Zachary.  I was one of the people who he asked to review his book for a virtual blog tour.  I have to say his sense of humor is a lot like mine.  It was like I was reading something I had lived through.  People say stupid shit to you when you have cancer.  He wrote it all down.  Told it like it was.  It was funny and real.  It is the best book I have read about what its like to have cancer.

I was lucky enough to meet Don & his wife Amy in real life, he ironically is from the town I live in now.  We would chat on facebook and twitter.  We talked about survivorship, life etc. 


The last time I saw him was in July.  I am grateful that my fiance got to meet him.  We went out to The Pancake House in Bay Harbor.  He gave me some of his books to pass out to survivors who listen to my podcast or who I meet in person. 

When I noticed he wasn't on facebook that much I emailed Amy and asked how he was.  She said he was tired of fighting.  This was his final  facebook post:

I’ve filled my original goal here on earth. It was to spend the remainder of my life helping cancer patients. It seems to be where I found the greatest joy and the most sense of worth. I’m moving up into the next roll. I’ll leave my faithful followers to slip in and fill the gaps. Love to you all and positive energy, ...Don Wilhelm (Don entered into Hospice care as of Weds.)

  

When I read that post, whether you realized it or not, I know you were talking directly to me.

I wanted to wait a while before I wrote something about my friend, but I couldn't wait.  The day I found out you passed away my friend was sad.  It was a beautiful sunny day up north in the place you love so much, but somehow it seemed so dark and lonely.  Without you here with us the days seem a little less sunny, the stars seem to shine a little less brightly and the world seems sadder and smaller.   

I know that you would smile at me with that easy carefree smile of yours and say "Hey Mel, it is what it is."

I know that Don.

But I miss my friend

5 Ways Cancer Survivors Can Boost Their Health

Another Guest Blogger, Enjoy

It’s literally a trip to the fringes of hell and back, one that leaves you both physically and mentally drained. Surviving cancer is the equivalent of beating the devil by the skin of your teeth, and if you want to avoid the burning question of how much longer you can hold on and continue to be cancer-free, you need to take the bull by its horns and start boosting your health in small and large ways. It’s your second lease of life, so don’t let the chemo treatments or anything else get you down. Instead, look forward to each new day, take it as it comes, live for the day, and do all you can to live healthily by:


• Eating healthy food: Health professionals recommend that cancer survivors follow a healthy diet that includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables in order to improve their health-related quality of life score, the test that determines how your health affects the quality of your life. The higher the score, the more quality there is in your life and vice versa. So make it a point to eat more fruits and vegetables and limit all that is unhealthy in the food category. That’s not to say that you need to become a vegetarian or eat only what’s healthy; rather, balance your meals and ensure that you’re getting the best nutrition possible.

• Exercising regularly: As a cancer survivor, you’re probably drained of all your physical and mental energy what with the stress and pain associated with the notion of cancer and the chemotherapy sessions. Exercise is perhaps the last thing on your mind right now, but there are advantages to working out that promise to boost the quality of your life and make you feel better physically and mentally. Start out with leisurely walks after consulting your doctor and then move on to something more active that invigorates and energizes you. Research has proved that hatha yoga helps boost energy levels of cancer survivors and also helps them sleep better without the aid of sleeping pills.

• Giving up addictions: The urge to throw caution to the winds and live life king-size is strong after you’ve survived a deadly disease like cancer, so you may probably go all out and smoke and/or drink like you never have before. But do remember that you’ve gone through a lot and put up with much pain and angst in order to survive. After driving away the disease, don’t welcome it back with open arms by smoking and drinking without a care in the world.

• Socializing with friends and family: The best medicine in the world is love and laughter, and these cannot be purchased at any drugstore in the world. When you’ve been given a second chance, boost your mental and physical health by surrounding yourself with loved ones and spending more time in their company. Relationships matter more than money or work, so get your priorities right and feel better about yourself.

• Staying positive: And finally, it’s important to look ahead and not behind at the road you’ve taken to come this far if you want to stay mentally healthy after beating cancer. Yes, it’s been a struggle, but by focusing on all the good things that lie ahead, it’s easy to move on and forge a good life for you, one that does not include the dreaded word cancer at all.

About the guest blogger:

 Susan White regularly writes on the subject of radiology technician schools schools. She invites your questions, comments at her email address: susan.white33@gmail.com.

Its (fill in cancer type) awareness month

Its September.  Its Prostate, Ovarian, Childhood, Thryoid & Gynecological awareness month.  Everyone grab your ribbon color of choice and wear it proudly.  

I am a breast cancer survivor, we get a month, and pink is plastered everywhere, and I mean EVERYWHERE, it sells everything from hair brushes (ironic since most breast cancer survivors lose their hair) to tuna fish and toilet paper (Wipe for the cure??)   

So I go into the grocery store and do shopping as I usually do and I don't see any thing yellow or teal or blue promoting childhood, ovarian or prostate cancer awareness.  Why is that?  My cancer isn't any more or less important than any other cancer survivor.  The only thing I have seen on tv or in the stores was a Hyundai commercial stating that they would donate a certain percentage of car sales to childhood cancer awareness.

At least someone is doing something right?

I consider myself a cancer advocate, not just for breast cancer, but for all cancers, even if it is one I can't pronounce or have never heard of.  Its ridiculous in my opinion to give cancers certain months.  I was diagnosed in September, cancer didn't wait for its allotted month to strike me.  Cancer doesn't do that. Those of us who have been diagnosed know that.

 We shouldn't wait until a certain month to raise awareness for any type of cancer, and the whole cancer awareness thing really gets me, is there anyone anywhere who isn't aware that there is cancer?  If I buy chicken of the sea with a pink ribbon on it the money should go towards research, helping other survivors, finding a cure, finding better meds to deal with the cancer, not for awareness. 

During the Cancer Treatment Centers of America Empowerment Rally I was fortunate to meet in person, after being a I guess for lack of a better term a" friend in the virtual world" Matthew Zachary, founder or I'm Too Young for This!  a foundation that helps young adult survivors.  We shared a ride to the airport and we were discussing cancer "awareness" Basically he said we should think of the body as a whole, not as parts, all the organizations should help each other.  I totally agree.  Yeah, you might think breasts are sexy and they sell, but if you don't have the lungs behind them to work or the brain to think  or skin, then what are they?  Just another body part with cancer.

So yeah for me every month is cancer awareness/advocacy month.  Until there is a cure.

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon eastern on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand and on Itunes.

Help Beat the Clock on Cervical Cancer

Another Guest Blogger Enjoy

In October of 2008, I was diagnosed with Stage IIB cervical cancer, a couple of months after retiring from the NYPD. After a long and tough journey of radiation and chemotherapy treatments, I was cleared by my doctor in May 2009. May 5, 2010 marked my first year of remission and I am hoping for many more. Cancer changed my life; I thank God for my second shot at life as my priorities have changed and I am proud to call myself a cervical cancer survivor.



In September 2009, I did a cervical cancer walk (Walk to beat the clock, organized by non-profit Tamika & Friends). At the walk, I found inspiration in seeing so many cervical cancer survivors telling their stories to help other women understand that through awareness and prevention, this disease can be entirely eliminated. So, I joined the movement and now I am the President of Tamika & Friends’ New York City Chapter. Tamika & Friends is a national non-profit organization dedicated to raising awareness about cervical cancer and its link to the Human Papilloma Virus (HPV). It was founded in 2005 by cervical cancer survivor and advocate Tamika Felder.


On September 25, Tamika & Friends is having their 3rd annual NYC Walk to Beat the Clock to help beat the clock on cervical cancer. We want to publicly celebrate women who have survived, remember those who have lost their battle, support those who fight cervical cancer today and educate women on how to prevent a cervical cancer diagnosis all together!


Cervical Cancer is almost 100% preventable, yet 11 women die each day from this disease. I do not want any other woman to go through what I did and become another statistic. I am committed to the eradication of cervical cancer along with Tamika & Friends.


Patti Murillo-Casa

Cervical Cancer Survivor

President, NYC Chapter, Tamika & Friends

TAL'S BLUE FLAME

Another guest blogger

Once upon a time, I was a rising star at a high-tech giant.  My job as an eCommerce consultant was to help big businesses like Disney build big websites to sell you everything you need: toys for your kids, clothes for your family, tools to fix your house and treats to feed your dog or cat. I was preparing a trip to meet with a very important client when my life changed forever.

I woke up one Labour Day looking like Bart Simpson only more yellow.  Instead of going on a business trip to meet with my customers to complete testing for their website ahead of a big launch, I was sitting in a hospital bed while doctors ran every kind of painful and embarrassing test imaginable to figure out what was wrong with me.  All we knew for sure was that there was a massive tumor in my liver and I was in grave danger.

Eventually I was diagnosed with Fibrolamellar Hepatocellular Carcinoma, a 1 in 5,000,000 liver cancer.  Over the last few years, I’ve fought for my life through three bouts of this disease.  Experiencing the cancer world as a patient in hospitals in three different countries, I’ve learned a lot about health care.  I’ve marveled as I’ve borne witness to countless missed opportunities to alleviate the pain, suffering and frustration of patients going through terrifying ordeals.

Today I am optimistic about my future and looking to make a difference. I want to fix some of the problems I’ve seen and experienced.  In his book Never Eat Alone, Keith Ferrazzi describes the concept of a “blue flame,” where a person’s passions intersect with their talents.  I cannot remember a time in my life when I wasn’t searching for my blue flame.

After everything I’ve been through in the last few years I think I have finally found it. I realized that where my passions and talents meet is in developing software for health care.  I believe that my knowledge of software design combined with my experience as a cancer patient gives me a unique perspective on this emerging field.

My mission – my “blue flame” -  is to create software that helps patients (and their families) when they are the most vulnerable.  I am passionate about improving the lives of people suffering from debilitating illnesses.  To achieve my goals, I propose that we gather together as many smart, creative and passionate people as we can; let’s get our creative juices flowing and start crafting innovative tools to help people through their darkest hours.  At SXSW and beyond I hope to meet with others to share these ideas and collaborate on exciting solutions.

I have some ideas for how we can build a better breed of health care services for the future using the popular Twitter platform.I've put together a proposal for SXSW and would love to hear your thoughts on it.  

I am here and am ready to make a difference.

about the guest blogger: visit Tal's website Life After Cancer. Vote for his SWSX proposal here.  

Exercise and the Cancer Patient – All You Need to Know

Another Guest Blogger Enjoy

It’s a horrible disease, one that makes you suffer even if lets you live. No one can claim to know what a cancer patient goes through unless they’ve had some form of this dreaded disease as well. The shock of the initial diagnosis, the pain of the chemotherapy and radiation therapy, the loss of dignity and control over your life, the fear of suffering and eventual death – the list of agonies goes on and on when it comes to cancer. Even survivors are battle-scarred – they’ve lost so much of their life and sometimes even lose the will to fight the disease even though they’re over the worst of it, simply because they feel too exhausted mentally and physically.


However, exercise helps make a significant difference in the lives of cancer patients; whether they’re part of the rehab procedure or a regular part of the survivor’s life, workout routines provide them with:

• An increase in strength: When you’ve been ill for a while, your muscles atrophy and your limbs and joints become stiff and clumsy. You find that you stumble when you walk and that even the most simple chores and activities are now strenuous exercises. When you exercise so that your muscles and joints become stronger and more nimble, you feel yourself returning to normal and feeling fine.

• A boost in confidence: Exercise boosts both physical and mental wellbeing; just the fact that you’re able to move your limbs and go through the workout routine your therapist had designed for you is a boost to your confidence because it proves that you’re fighting the disease with all you’ve got and not letting it get you down. When you’re mentally prepared to do all it takes to fight cancer, it makes a huge difference in your ability to recover.

• Lower complications: When you exercise, you reduce the side effects and complications caused by your illness. You don’t suffer from blood clots and bedsores because of being holed up in bed for too long, and your overall health improves even as you battle cancer.

• Overall improvement in health: Exercise helps you sleep better and sometimes even removes the need for pain medication. Your appetite improves and you’re able to eat nutritious food that boosts your heath. And you start to look and feel better as your energy levels go up and you feel stronger than before.

Your physiotherapist will probably give you a range of exercises to go through every day; based on the nature of your illness, it could be passive or intense. Some routines target your ROM (range of movement) – for example, if you’ve had breast cancer and had your lymph nodes removed as part of the surgery, your arms and shoulders are going to feel stiff and heavy. Your therapist will teach you the right exercises so that you’re able to use your arms again without feeling any pain.

Exercise has also proved beneficial in reducing your risk of a relapse – breast and colorectal cancer research has shown that survivors who exercise are less likely to be affected by the disease again. So if you’re affected by cancer and on your way to recovery, don’t forget to include exercise in your arsenal of weaponry when fighting the disease.



This guest post is contributed by Paul Hench, he writes on the topic of  masters in public health. He welcomes your comments at his email id: paul.23hench@gmail.com.

A review of Showtime's The Big c

Hollywood never ceases to amaze me.  I worked there for 10 years in the television industry, working on everything from award shows to movies of the week to sitcoms to drama.  So I know when hollywood creates something like the series The Big c I have to suspend my disbelief (and oh, if you are not a frequent reader of my blog then I will tell you I don't capitalize the word cancer, gives it too much power, so even just the letter c in a title, sorry not going to do it.)


Laura Linney's character Cathy Jameson is told she has stage IV melanoma and only has a year or so to live.  She is in obvious shock and decides to forgo chemo (she doesn't want to lose her hair) and doesn't get a second opinion.  Right, you only have a year to live.  Ok thanks for the news doc, I will take your word for it.  Bye now...

I know many stage IV survivors who were given their "expiration date" by doctors who are still here, past that date,  fighting, alive and kicking. 

In the pilot episode Cathy doesn't tell her husband or her son about her cancer diagnosis.  Some may think this is selfish, but I get this part.  Cancer is scary, and in the midst of a diagnosis it is hard to process anything.  So yeah I understand.  It took me a while to tell people about my diagnosis.  Some people knew right away, others knew later.  For me it was hard to keep telling the story over and over and over again.

Linney's character decides that she needs to start living, she has been an uptight housewife for too long.  She wants to let her freak flag fly (I didn't make that up it was on the showtime site for the show)  I understand she wants to let loose, who wouldn't want to tell people exactly what they think of them, or build a pool in the front yard, ( I live in an apartment complex, so I think the manager would be upset if I started digging up the place)  but it doesn't give you the right to treat people like crap, like telling one of her students she has to be fat and jolly or be the skinny bitch. Sure, like that student wouldn't go straight to the schools administration and tell them what she said.

I felt that her character was very unlikeable at the beginning of the show, and really had few redeeming qualities.  Perhaps the writers felt that this was important so we see her go through her transformation into someone living life to the fullest.

The jury is still out for me on this show.  I try not to make a judgement on a show based upon one episode.  Given the subject matter and the cast, I will continue to watch this hollywood version of cancer, and suspend my disbelief

Mel is the producer~co-host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.  Available  on demand and also available on Itunes