The Long and Winding Road

Those of you who are frequent readers of this post know I like to exercise.  Makes me feel good, it slowly gets me back to where I was before all of this. Before cancer, before side effects, before I knew so many medical terms one of my doctors asked me if I was in the medical industry, unfortunately, no I am just a student of my disease.
So I have decided to try to take up running again.  I haven't run since high school when I ran cross country. I lettered in that. Still have the varsity jacket, and it still fits.

Running will definitely take me out of my comfort zone. I haven't run since high school because of my knees, and well, quite honestly running never really appealled to me, probably because of the growing pains I had with my knees.  I only ran the one year for cross country, and after I lettered I guess I wasn't that interested in it. 

In high school I wasn't much of an athlete.  Didn't participate in team sports after  cross country in 9th grade I believe.  I even recall that many of my classmates were on diets, drinking diet coke and worrying about their weight.  I never did that.   Wasn't my thing.

Back to me deciding to run.  I have my reservations wondering if I will enjoy it.  I know it will be hard at first.  Different than what I am used to doing.  In the summer I love to ride my bike on the local bike path.  Nothing like you and your bike and you and the serenity of nature.
 
I have a friend who is going to go running with me.  Train me I guess. She is one of the pilates instructors from pilates midwest, the pilates studio where I did the pink ribbon program and where I currently take pilates classes.  I don't even know if that is the right terminology.  All I know is I enjoy going there and she enjoys kicking my butt.
 
So we did a 5k walk this past Saturday, my friend the pilates instructor, Jan and I walked,while the other pilates instructor ran. It was cold, about 20 degrees outside.  It was good to get outside in the fresh air. 
 
But of course we know, as cancer survivors, nothing is ever easy.
 
I have osteopenia.  I need to do weight bearing exercises to keep the osteoporosis away.  So I thought the walk would be a good addition to the pilates and hockey that I do currently.
 
The next day I noticed my neuropathy flaring up. 
 
So let me get this straight.
 
I am trying to get back into shape with the help of one of my friends, and the walk causes a side effect?
 
The neuropathy doesn't really hurt.  My foot is numb.  Its more of an annoyance, but I would rather it not get back to the point of shooting pain going all the way up my leg to my knee.
 
I am hoping that running will cause a break through and it will go away permanently, and not have it return doing something that I want to do.
 
 
Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen Live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com
Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com Available on demand and also available on Itunes.

Getting back on track

As a cancer survivor I am used to the waiting game.  Waiting for doc appointments, waiting for results from scans.  Waiting, waiting, waiting.  I wonder how much of my cancer experience I have spent waiting.  Probably over half of it.

I am used to waiting for other people, but not for myself.

I am used to going all out all the time.  When I had two jobs I would start my day at 5am as a server finish up  around noon or 2pm, get to the radio station, do some voice tracking, go to the gym, then maybe head back to the radio station to work on a Tigers or a Red Wings game. A 5am-10pm day.  I would do this about 2 or 3 times a week.

I am 3 years into my survivorship, and I am still waiting to be able to get back to that level of energy.  Don't get me wrong, I do have energy.  I still get up early, my work day ends around noon -2pm.  I do pilates twice a week, its winter so I play hockey, but I am still not back to what I was before.  I have to nap during the day to be able to do what I need to do.


Its hard waiting for me.  Its harder not knowing if I will ever get back to where I was before.


I am close.


But not quite there.


This is one of the things they don't tell you about when you have cancer.


This is just one of the many charming aspects of survivorship that I have to deal with on a daily basis.  Just one of the many thoughts that go through my head wondering when I will be back to me, or as close to it as I possibly can be with everything that I have been through.

There are some friends of mine that I haven't seen since I moved from California.  Since I was diagnosed.  Since I had cancer.

Sometimes I wonder how much I have changed and if they will even recognize me.  The Me that they knew.

Its a scary thought to think that they wont.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said "All things come round to him who will but wait."

I hope he was right. 


Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen Live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com


Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com Available on demand and also available on Itunes.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

I have been feeling great for quite some time now.  I know it has a lot to do with playing hockey and pilates.    Exercise raises endorphin levels.  Endorphins make you feel good.  We all know that.

I think a lot of it has to do with not only working out but knowing that I am getting back to my old self.  Not that I can ever get back exactly to the way I was I know that.  Sometimes that is a hard reality to face.  But very close. 

I still remember telling my hockey team I had cancer.  I still remember what it feels like to be going through treatment and not being able to do anything.  To be tired and weak. To feel shitty and feel like someone else.

Cancer takes so much from you.  So does the chemo. It can strip away feeling like the person you were, to a person you don't even know.  Makes everything about you feel like someone else, down to the very core of your soul.   It took a few years of doing things that I love doing away from me. I When I was going through treatment I would look forward to these days and hope that they would come quickly.  Now I look back and am glad that it is a distant light in the tunnel behind.

Like I said I am feeling good.  I didn't realize how bad I felt until recently when I realized I felt so good. 

I felt so bad for so long I didn't know the difference. 

Now I feel so great I don't want it to end.  I am hoping it wont.

Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen Live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com


Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com Available on demand and also available on Itunes.

Help my friend Chris Geiger set a world record

World Record

In February 2011, to coincide with World Cancer Day, Chris Geiger is going to attempt a Guinness World Record.

He is going to try and set a record for “The most published feature newspaper article in one day –  by the same author.”

Currently Chris Geiger writes weekly columns, voluntary, to create awareness for ‘Above and Beyond’  and ‘Cancer Research UK’ .

“Unfortunately Cancer is a bit of a taboo subject, which people tend to shy away from.” Chris Geiger said “If I can use my experience with cancer and my writing to inspire and help people, its time well spent.”

The aim of the World Record, as with Chris Geiger’s weekly columns, is to draw attention to the whole cancer subject, and raise people’s awareness of cancer and how to prevent, detect or treat it.

“I’m absolutely thrilled that the Guinness World Records have authorised my attempt, this should enable me to obtain a significantly larger audience, and inspire cancer patients and their families.”

In order to set this record, Chris Geiger’s article must comply with a number of conditions, including : Contain at least 1,000 words, appear in different daily newspapers on the same day, and only printed daily newspapers which are published at least five days in the week will count. The daily newspapers must have a circulation of no less than 30,000, and each translated version of his article must contain at least 70% of the same content as the ‘original’.

Newspapers wishing to pledge commitment should make initial contact via this form.

“I’m urging everyone reading this or who follows me on the various social networking sites, to lobby their newspapers to get involved in this project. With their help I can set a new record and more importantly put the spotlight on the whole cancer subject, and highlight the great work that is being done to fight the disease.” Chris Geiger said.

Relaxed....

 

 

 

Its been a while since I have written.  Not really sure why that is.  I have written a couple of guest blog posts for some friends of mine, maybe that is why, I am not one of those writers who can just write at the drop of a hat, I have to be inspired. Certain things have happened these past two weeks to inspire me. 

I went to a chiropractor on the advice or my pilates instructors (yes I have two of them, and their styles are both very different and both very good)  I have had pain in my shoulder for quite some time, and it would always get worse at night, nothing like trying to get to sleep in pain.  

Now I have been skeptical of chiropractors because of what my fiance Doug had gone through in California.  Long story short Doug was scheduled for surgery for his shoulder and the chiropractor, who had no permission to practice in the hospital where Doug was, wanted to give him an adjustment the day of his surgery!!  Needless to say the chiropractor didn't, and he was kicked out of the hospital room. 

So yes I was skeptical, but my friends said he would help.  So I went.  I had the xrays taken.  There I saw my crooked spine and my straight neck, 

I have scoliosis, that I knew, and apparently the curvature in your neck is supposed to be at 40%.

Mine is at 10%.  

No wonder my back and neck hurt, oh and I had a rib out of place.  Don't ask me how the hell that happened, but it was out of place.  Another reason for the pain.  The chiropractor told me that he was different than the last chiro I saw (he was in the same town, didn't really remember much of what he did, chemobrain, and didn't have problems with him, just got down to being a financial issue to go to him)

So the chiro did the adjustments.  I wasn't expecting to hear the snap crackle pop of my spine and neck. 

It was amazing.

For the first time, in I can't remember when, I had no pain.  I had an amazing massage the week before, I was actually able to relax during the massage. 

I told Lynn, my friend, the massage therapist, "Congratulations, you have done something that no one else has done in three years." 

I was able to relax. 

The chiropractor said I would probably sleep better than I have in a while.  I went home and took a nap.  My hours changed at work so I have to be at work at 5:30am, so whenever I can grab a nap I will. 

The only word I can describe how I felt was euphoric.  I felt so good it was almost hard to fall asleep. 

Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together. ~ Thomas Dekker

Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen Live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com


Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com Available on demand and also available on Itunes.

Happy New Year

Recorded this video on New Years Eve. Why I do what I do.

Reflections

There are 5 days left of 2010.  I have to say it has been a long emotional year for me. Lots of good things have happened for me professionally.  This has been a great year pr wise for The Cancer Warrior.

I was one of a few featured survivors in a Chicago Tribune/LA Times article about cancer survivors (Thats me before Peggy Fleming and the president of Harvard with my photo above the fold, doesn't show it only though)

A Positive Ripple Effect magazine featured an article I had written.

I was featured on several radio shows, including The Stupid Cancer Show.  Matt Zachary who founded Stupid Cancer is not only a good friend but someone I admire.  I was blogging on my own blog and was also blogging on The Stupid Cancer Blog.  I am grateful to him for helping me get my start.

One of the most amazing things that has happened to me this year is being asked to speak at The Cancer Treatment Centers of America Empowerment Rally.  Out of all the cancer survivors I was picked with 4 other survivors from the US to talk about patient empowerment. I can remember the night before thinking that there will be a knock on the door and someone from CTCA would say uh sorry we made a mistake, here is a ticket for your flight home. 

I have met some amazing survivors in person and online.  I have an amazing group of people who have had all kinds of different cancers, all who share the same experience, and who all want the same thing, the end of cancer.  I know I can email, call, tweet, or facebook any of my friends at any time if I need guidance or help for myself or someone else. 

I have started new ventures in social media, helping others maintain their facebook pages.  Sounds easy, I know.  Someone asked me people actually pay you for that?  The answer is yes, they do.  Businesses and people get busy with their lives and need people to help them.  That is what I do.

One of the things I like to do is pay it forward, either to my friends by some simple gesture, but mostly to people I haven't met.  Its an easy thing to do, and it takes minimal effort.  Someone paid it forward to me this year.  They created my amazing new website  When my friend said he would do my website pro bono I never expected the extent of how much he has done.  I was blown away.  Honestly when I first saw it I almost started to cry.  I was just expecting nothing more than the go daddy parked site I had. 

Celebrated 3 years of survivorship.  Nothing is better than hearing all clear on blood tests, scans and physicals.  Nothing.

With all the amazing highs there were many lows as well.


September 15th. 

Just 3 days before I was to celebrate my 3 year cancerversary I lost a good friend to cancer.
 
Donald Wilhelm

He was such an inspiration to many, and I am grateful I got to meet him and call him my friend.  Even now as I am writing this the tears are flowing.  Knowing that just 4 months before he passed I posted an interview of him here.

And I saw him just 3 months before he passed away at the Pancake House with his wife Amy.  I am grateful I got to meet her and that Doug got to meet him. 

The photo below taken on Memorial Day weekend will always be one of my favorites.

Seemed like after Don passed away everything just sent me into a tailspin of depression.  Even with the pink ribbon program that I started at Pilates Midwest and the Pilates helping me to relax the cancer world that I was in was rocked one week with Don's memorial service, a friends recurrance and not one but two deaths because of cancer.

I have to say the last three months of this year have been some of the hardest I have ever dealt with.  Dealing with those passings, financial hardships, and just life in general got to me.

It was rough.

Almost as rough as when I was going through treatment. 

I can honestly say without prescription medications, family, and good friends being there for me I don't think I would have made it through these past 3 months as much as I did, and for you I am eternally grateful.

5 days until the ball drops and its 2011.

I have faith that 2011 will be better than 2010.
 
Faith consists in believing when it is beyond the power of reason to believe. ~ Voltaire


Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show.  Listen live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern on wmktthetalkstation.com

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com  Available on demand now and also available on Itunes