Thursday, June 7, 2012

All I wanna do

Recently I was reading about how Sheryl Crow told the public she had a brain tumor.  I was shocked and stunned.  I was (shockingly) not by a computer so I didn't know the full gist of the story, my heart sank, thinking she had a recurrance or a new cancer.

I searched online and read this article  about her brain tumor.  Fortunately it is benign.  Unfortunately it is causing memory loss.  The writer of this article joked: "Man, if we ever forgot any Sheryl Crow songs, we’re gonna to start freaking out. Doctors should start including “Crow forgetfulness” in the list of benign brain tumor symptoms. If you can’t at least get through the chorus of “My Favorite Mistake,” straight to the MRI machine you go!"

Ha freaking Ha...

It is one thing for a person with memory issues to make fun of themselves, its a whole other ballgame if someone else does it.

I have chemobrain, cognitive memory issues caused by the chemo I took because of my cancer.

It sucks.

Ok I know I am not a grammy winning songwriter with millions of fans, and while making light of Crow's situation may be funny for Halle Keifer (and for the record, I have no idea if she has ever had cancer or what her relationship with cancer is) it strikes a deep nerve with me.

It's hard knowing what you want to say without being able to say it.  To visualize an object or place in your mind when you are wanting it, say a pen or want someone to get something out of, for example, the kitchen.

When I meet people I don't know, which I often do, I hope I don't forget the name of my friend with me, which has happened on occasion.

Or if the grocery store clerk asks if you want paper or plastic and you stare at her blankly, knowing the answer but not being able to verbalize it.

Or being on a live radio show, trying to explain something to the host on air only to speak in either gibberish or fight for the right thought.

My friends understand, its one of those side effects that I have, they know if they ask me a question and it takes me a minute its not because I am slow, or stupid.

It is chemobrain.

It sucks.

It isn't funny.

Try to remember that, Halle Keifer, next time you write an article about someone with a serious condition.

I may not recall everything Halle, but I will remember YOUR name...

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1 comment:

  1. Great post. Like always our words matter a great deal don't they? The remarks made about Sheryl Crow were insensitive. As one who suffers from chemobrain, too, I understand why you were offended. As you said, we can make fun of ourselves, but when others do so, it's not quite so funny.