Thursday, January 24, 2013
There are those among you who are different. Sure they may seem just like you, but they are not. You are normal, you don't have what we have. No its not some exciting superpower, we can't time travel. Nothing cool like that.
We have something you don't want:
An invisible illness
Sure we may not look sick, and I would say for myself , I'm not all the time.
We fight a battle that you will never see, an internal battle that for some would be too hard to bear.
We don't talk about it, because it has become a part of us, and for those of you who don't have these side effects, well you just wouldn't understand.
How can you explain to a friend you have known for years that when you see them at a restaurant or store you can't remember their name?
Or when you have chronic joint and neck pain, that gets worse when when you get stressed out, how do you keep a smile on your face when you are sitting at your desk and greeting people at your job.
Or the chronic fatigue, being so damn tired all the time then trying to sleep and laying awake all night.
I have a lot of friends with invisible illnesses.
Side effects from chemo
There are many more that I am not aware of, of this I am sure.
It's interesting because the more people I talk to the more I find out about their invisible illness.
You will never hear us complain about what we go through, except with each other.
We smile and laugh to ourselves when we hear others bitching about what a crappy day they had, if their computer stopped working or they had a flat.
If only I had a flat instead of chemobrain. Flat tires are easy to fix. Searching for words when they just aren't there isn't an easy fix, its especially difficult when you do a live radio show.
There is nothing like knowing what you want to say but can't say it and there is dead air.
But I am not complaining, it's a part of me, unfortunately. Something I have to live with most likely for the rest of my life. It is simply an explanation.
So the next person you meet may be one of us, or may not be. You will never know if they are one of us, one of the X Men.
Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com. Available on demand, on Itunes and on the Podcasts app on your iphone