Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Emotional Rollercoaster

Another Guest Blog.  Enjoy
So today has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster...for the first time in a long time! I decided last night that I was going to move my blog over to blogger.com. In the process I decided that I was going to read all of my previous posts, and kind of look at how I had changed from the beginning of treatment to the end.

So with that said I realized one thing...that I always acted like there was nothing really wrong, like nothing could get me down, and that cancer was not a big deal.

Chemotherapy kicked my ass, I want to get that out there right now. I acted like it was no big deal, and that is the actual attitude I had because if I let it get to me then I would have never made it through it all as well as I did. While reading my blog I took a step back and tried to pretend that I was just some other person reading my blog. It was a strange experience because there were some things that I read where I thought that I should be more open about what I was really feeling, and then there were others where I read it and thought to myself that I should have not said what I said. Though I guess I would not be who I am if I hadn't just typed what I was thinking like I did.

I have to say for any person that is going through chemo or radiation, or treatment for any illness or disease...write a blog, it has proven to be very therapeutic in my case. Now that I am reading through it I mean I am realizing that there are a lot of underlying tones and themes to some of the things I said that I never notice before. Which I won't go into, I will let you read them for yourself!

Anyway, back to how it made me feel today. It made me really feel like a survivor! The complications I had, the way I felt during treatment, and the people I met and the things that I went through with them all. I have never felt more like a survivor in my life. I mean going through all of the cancer treatments I also had my other previous issues like having heart disease, a pacemaker, and having cancer before. Cancer really took the front position though, I mean it was during all of this that I decided I wanted to start an organization to raise awareness about cancer, and during this was when I realized that I wanted to write a book on my life starting with my cancer and the retouching on all my other life experiences.

As much as I hate to say this, I hate to admit that cancer has changed me for the better. I would love to say that I changed myself for the better, but it was really a damn disease that changed me as a person. Though I guess that tough situations end up being the things that changed people for the better or worse, and luckily mine changed me for the better.

It also changed the way I wear my hair haha! Before I was all for growing my hair out, but now that I have gone through the process of losing my hair and my beard, I decided that I should keep shaving my head (though I haven't cut it in 2 or 3 weeks now). Soon I will start shaving my head again, but my beard shall stay. Always appreciate your hair whether you have a lot or a little, because once you lose it you will never be the same!

This is all for now my friends!

Until next time,

-The Tech
About the author:
Hey readers, my name is Andrew Gemmell, and I am a 24 year old heart disease, stroke, and two time cancer survivor! I have been in and out of the hospital my whole life for mostly cardiac surgeries and procedures like pacemaker implants! Though more recently I have been having my latest life battles with cancer. On March 26th 2008 I was diagnosed the first time with a Stage 1 Testicular Seminoma and simply had to have surgery to remove the mass. No other treatment was needed at the time, but on October 16th, 2009 I was diagnosed with cancer for the second time. This time the doctors found a Stage 3 Seminoma on my Para-Aortic Lymph Node in my abdomen. So the doctors put me through chemo and of course I barreled through it and came out healthy and with a much better attitude than I have ever had. Now that it is all over I am starting an organization and campaign called "Protect Your Pair" in which I want to raise awareness and offer support to cancer survivors and their families! Like I said, my attitude now is much better than ever before, and I am ready to fight with everyone that has been affected by cancer to try and make things better!
To contact Andrew: drew@protectyourpair.org

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