Friday, April 9, 2010

You get what you pay for, Part Two

Author's note:  This is just my recent experience with therapy.  I am not putting down any form of therapy or if you or your doctor feel it is necessary.  I am just relaying my experiences with one  therapist.

I thought that I would try group therapy.  Not the in person kind. I thought I would try an online support group.  So I found one online, signed up for it, and had pretty good luck for a while.

The  best thing about the online support group is that you are in your comfort zone, you can pick a time that is convienient to you and get a variety of different cancer survivors from all over the country, even the world.  It is amazing what other peoples take on your situation can be.

I had a bit of good luck with my online therapy experience for a while.  Like I said before, its hard for me to open up, and once I put something out there, its like a balloon floating up to the sky, its out, you can't get it back.

I shared something personal with the group.  I know I have a hard time trusting people.  Yep, something I am working on, not an easy thing to overcome.

I recall there was one day everyone was late.  Server issues, I don't recall the problem.  I was sitting (virtually) in a room for 20 minutes or so until someone came in.  I believe it was the therapist.  The rest of the group came in late as well.  I didn't really participate at all, just stewing in the corner like a mad child.

Ok I admit that was not the best thing to do emotionally, but when I get upset I shut down.

The therapist was upset that I wasn't participating.  She said it was disrupting the group.  I told her if we were a "live" group I probably would have done the same thing, or would it have been better if I left the chat room for the night.  I honestly don't recall her answer.

That was disruptive so I had to talk to her privately before one of our group chats.

Kind of like being called to the emotional principal's office.

She said that kind of behavior needed to stop.  It was disrupting the group etc.  I was being too sarcastic (which is one of my defense mechanisms, humor, any one who knows me knows that)  I said ok fine something to that effect

The next week went fine.

The following week however, I said something sarcastic.

I dont' recall exactly what the therapist said, but I said "Wow, that's your advice as a therapist?"

You can imagine how that went over.

So I get an email from the therapist basically saying that I am too angry, sarcastic and reactive and I was not being supportive enough for the group effort.

So I got kicked out...

Of  a support group.

Not very supportive if you ask me

and once again I say

See, you get what you pay for...

Mel is the producer/co-host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen live Monday-Friday 10am-noon eastern standard time on

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Available on demand now and also available on itunes.

1 comment:

  1. wooooowwwww Mel, that is insane...and I am not talking about you. I am talking about the fact that because you were acting the way you naturally act when you are upset or in that mood (which I do the same exact thing) that they kicked you out...

    I am honestly baffled by this!