Friday, June 24, 2011
Not really much of a choice is it?
The bain of my existance.
I was getting back to feeling like me after I had upped my anti depressant medication. The new dosage makes me tired. Like I want to nap tired. Not that naps are a bad thing mind you, but wanting to nap everyday is.
I first thought I was tired because of how early I get up for my job, but medication tired is different than regular tired or lack of sleep tired.
Some days its hard dealing with these side effects. I put cancer out of my head then it creeps back in in these subtle ways. Being tired from my medication is another reminder. Fighting to stay awake reminds me.
Its not like I have a choice. I can't go off of my meds. I upped my dosage to put me back to normal. Because I didn't want to spiral downward again. That is a place I do not want to go to. A place I cannot go to.
So I struggle yet again, with an inner battle. Hoping that it will slowly dissipate, and I will be less tired.
Hoping this will be the last side effect I will have to deal with for a while.
Oprah Winfrey said "Where there is no struggle, there is no strength."
Yeah, but I am sick of being so damn strong all the time...
Mel is the producer/co~host of The Vic McCarty Show. Listen Live Monday~Friday 10am-noon eastern time on wmktthetalkstation.com
Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com Available on demand and also available on Itunes.