Help Wanted

It has been a while since I have blogged about anything.  I have to say for everyone, myself included, the last few years have been challenging.

Who would have thought there would be a global pandemic that would change everything?  When the pandemic started, I stopped working at my job as a barista at Biggby Coffee.  I had fun at that job.  It is an easy gig.  But what I really wanted to do was find something in my field of expertise.

The challenge: I live in a small town.  I worked at the local radio station for 12 years as a master control operator for local and national sports and more recently as producer of several talk shows.  We started podcasting our talk shows long  before it became the trendy thing to do.  When the station stopped doing live talk shows, I was downsized.  Needless to say there isn't much in the way of producing,  podcast editing or audio editing when you live in this small town.

I think this is the longest I have been out of work since actively looking for work.  I am surprised that I have not found a job yet, although I have only been actively looking since August 1st.

This is the first time I have been looking for a remote position, and I feel like a fish out of water!  I look on all the major job hunting websites, linkedin, indeed etc., and it's hard because I know I rock the in person interview, and when I used to send resumés out I would be able to connect with the person hiring right away or have a networking contact who could connect me.  Now it feels like when I apply I am just shooting a paper airplane into the dark, hoping it lands on someones desk  and gets noticed above all the other paper airplanes.

If you are interested in working with me, email me at producermel@gmail.com.

If you are a fellow paper airplane looking for work and looking to have great conversation pop over to Radio Soup on soundcloud.com/radiosoupshow or on Itunes.

Crossing Jordan

Crossing Jordan was the last successful television show that I worked on before I left California.  I only worked on two seasons of the show before I left, but it made a lasting impression.

I had worked on other shows before, the longest one was Walker, Texas Ranger, that show shot in Dallas, and post production was in Los Angeles, so I didn't interact with the actors as much as I did with the Crossing Jordan actors.

I talked hockey with Jill Hennessey, (we never did get to go to that Oilers vs Kings game.) Asked Jerry O'Connell if he was going to audition for Miracle.  Always had a good time talking with Steve Valentine, Ravi Kapoor and Kathryn Hahn.

Miguel Ferrer.

Miguel Ferrar was in one of the first productions I worked on when I moved to LA.  It was Jack Reed: A Search for Justice.  Not surprisingly he played the bad guy.  Below is a copy of the DVD cover.  I found it on the internet.  (credit to the production company of the movie)

It is hard to remember everything about a show you work on.  Even harder with chemobrain.  I remember being in awe of Miguel.  Seeing him in movies and tv shows such as Robocop, The Stand and Miami Vice.

I remember being in Lake Piru, I had driven there in my little Dodge Omni to go to the set for some reason (that is what PA's do, go here go there,  take this to the director, get coffee, drop off scripts etc. had to find my way around with a Thomas Guide and no GPS.

That was 1994, a few months after I moved to LA to work in the film and television industry.

2001

Crossing Jordan.

I finished working on Walker Texas Ranger, the show ended after a successful 9 year run.  I really don't remember who recommended me to work on CJ but I am grateful that I was a part of the show.

I told Miguel we had worked on Jack Reed together, I know he didn't remember me, who would? Honestly would you remember someone you worked with in passing 7 years ago?  I wouldn't. He said he enjoyed acting in that movie.

Facebook.

I usually find out about people passing away on facebook.  I have found out about dear friends deaths on facebook.  I found out about Miguel Ferrer's passing on facebook.

He died of throat cancer.

There were rumors he was ill because of how he looked on NCIS LA, I don't watch the show, so I didn't know how bad he looked.

I am glad the producers kept him on working while he was either going through cancer treatment or just while he was ill.  Nothing is worse than being in treatment and having nothing to do.  It can be isolating and depressing.  Everyone wants to help, but those who have not had cancer don't know what to say.

It was a gut punch when I found out that he died.

When you work on a TV show or film, the cast and crew become your family, some you stay in contact with, some you don't, but they are still family.

Goodbye Miguel, and thank you for your kindness and your talent.  You will be missed.

I hate cancer.

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand, on ITunes, IHeart radio, and the podcast app for Iphone.

Staying healthy all year round

I try to stay healthy all year round.  Cancer survivors have to.  It isn't easy.  I play hockey for 6 months out of the year and bike the other half, and try to get a workout in at the gym when I can.  That is what I do. 

Now I don't recommend hockey for everyone, especially if you are in treatment, but I have some advice for fellow survivors, and well, everyone to stay healthy all year round.

First of all listen to your doctor, if you don't have one, find a good one, this is a great resource for finding doctors in your area.
If you don't like your current doctor, find another one, remember they work for you, not the other way around.

Once your doctor is ok with you doing exercise then find exercise that you enjoy and if you can find someone to exercise with!

When we think of exercise it doesn't have to be in the gym doing a gazillion reps with dumbells or training for a half marathon, it can be as simple as walking.

When I was going through radiation my radiation oncologist said walking for at least 30 minutes a day would cut down on fatigue and help me get through it a lot better, and he was right!

I like to use an fitness bracelet to track my steps.  I use the jawbone, some people use fitbit. ( I am not a paid endorsee of either product)  if you are not a tech junkie like me a pedometer is less expensive and will get the job done just as easily.


If it is walking or bike riding or a similar activity where you will be by yourself make sure you tell someone your route and have your phone charged up.  Fatigue is one of the top issues for cancer survivors and patients and it is always  good to have your friends know where you are going to be if you get tired, get a flat or get stuck in an unexpected rainstorm.

You can always get into a team sport that you love, like I do such as hockey, and get a friend into it too.  There is nothing better than talking about the teams victories or defeats after the game.

Now that we all agreed exercise is important, we have to talk about what you are going to eat.  Open up your cupboards and look at what you have in there.  I have junk food too.  As survivors we have to try to eat healthier than others to stay healthy, and encourage others in our family and circle of friends to do so as well.

I am not saying go out and toss out your favorite box of twinkies or doritos or other indulgence, just less of the snack foods (Twinkies photo copywrite Hostess Cupcake)

Find a nutritionist in your area, get a good cookbook for cancer survivors, order a big healthy salad and investigate your options. Find foods you like to eat.  Not everyone goes for the Kale chips (Yuck!)  as part of their everyday diet.  The main thing is is get rid of the processed food,  don't be afraid of cooking your own meals, buying local produce and if you are leery, take a cooking class, or find a recipe that looks tasty and try it, if you don't like it, try something else, ask other survivors, they may have some good recipes or suggestions.  Your diet doesn't have to be all skinless chicken and steamed broccoli.  Once again check with your doctor if you can't find any options.


Now that we are eating well and exercising what is the most important thing we have to do.  It happens once a year.

You guessed it. Your physical.

No one likes going to the doctor.

Anyone who tells you they do is lying, and anyone who says they don't have time to go is just fooling themselves.

When I was diagnosed I felt perfectly fine and was in the best physical shape of my life then my life got interrupted.  However, I am fortunate that I did have my physical and then mammogram(s) and  biopsies  that detected my cancer.

Not everyone gets a mammogram and biopsy on the same date.  It is completely normal to have them scheduled on a different day.  Here is a great infographic by my friends at Amino to show how often this happens.  Try not to stress out if you have to have a biopsy.  Stress is bad for the body and worrying does nothing but make you forget about the good stuff in your life 

You may think, well I am too young to have a mammogram.  Government guidelines are changing all the time so depending upon your family history and genetics you might need one, or even ask for one (this is the part where your doctor works for you, remember that.)

I was 37 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and that shocked all of my doctors that I had breast cancer at a young age.  Women get mammograms at different ages in their lives.  Here is another handy infographic to show you this (thanks again Amino!!)

Anyone who has breasts can get breast cancer, including men!


So we have established you are exercising, eating healthy, and seeing your doctor.

Don't forget about your self exams.  You know you better than anyone, so if you feel something weird or a lump or anything see your doctor.  No one has come out of seeing their doc's office happy that they have something, they come out happy that they are healthy.


I will leave you with this final thought.

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. Jim Rohn
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jimrohn147499

Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. Jim Rohn
Read more at: http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/j/jimrohn147499

Take care of your body, it is the only place you have to live ~ Jim Rohn

  

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand, on iTunes, IHeart radio, the podcast app on your iPhone and on stitcher.

What season is your favorite? Mine is hockey

This is my winter season team, during our last game of the season, needless to say we were short a few players.


Hockey.

I have written about it many times.  It has helped me get through a lot of things.

Sports.  One thing that helps cancer survivors survive ( I hate the word thriver or thrive, just my personal thing.)

Some people run 5Ks, half marathons, marathons.  Never understood the excitement about that,  maybe I just don't like running, after all marathon comes from the legend of a Greek Runner who was sent from Marathon to Athens to announce that the Persians had been defeated in the Battle of Marathon, and supposedly dropped dead after he relayed the news of the victory.



This does not make me want to run a marathon.

Back to the ice.

We draft two seasons: Fall (Oct-Dec) and Winter (Jan-March)

Fall season I was Co-captain of Apple Tree Inn.  We were last in our 5 team league, with an abysmal 3-8-1 record.  We didn't win either of our two playoff games and well we finished.  

We didn't win the season, however we didn't lose it either.  My fall team, team Apple Tree Inn (seen below)

short once again, without our Co-capt who was out of town on a job, had fun.  We had a game where we got totally blown out by another team 8-0 and my team was in great spirits, because we were having fun (well I am not a goalie, I hope he had fun, even though we lost, sorry Zach.)  I think I missed one game in the fall, I was going to participate in a bike race and, well that didn't happen.  We didn't do great, but when one of the best players in the league tells you it was the most fun they had playing hockey, then you know, as a captain you did your job.  ( I did a good job drafting the team, the hockey gods deemed it a non winning season.

Winter season.

New sponsor.  It happens, businesses decided not to renew sponsorships,  We have had several businesses do that.  Since my co-capt and I had gotten 2 sponsorships, we decided to captain Trish Hartwick Coldwell Banker.  Doing so we became the first all female sponsored and captained team in the league.  Unfortunately once again my co-capt. was out, this time with an ankle injury.  

So we had more jerseys ordered before the season and then we drafted.

I think I drafted pretty well, but again the hockey gods were not favoring us.  We had a 4-6 season and we made it to the semi finals of the playoffs, if you look at the photo at the top of the blog you will see why we lost, most of our team was gone that day.  Most people didn't expect us to make it that far.  I am thinking our team didn't expect us to make it that far.  

I never doubted us.  Not for a second.

You see, every season that you draft, you draft not just people, but your team, that team becomes your family.  For 13 games those player were my family. 

Family.  if you have played hockey you understand.  If you haven't, then it is difficult to explain.  

I don't like missing games.  Most people don't.  I really hate missing games.

I know what it is like to not be able to play.  

I know the feeling when your body hates you, and you can't lace em up, step out onto the ice and skate with your team.

I missed 1 game in the winter, I had bronchitis, I was coughing so much my doctor, who was also on my team, told me to come see her that week.  

I missed a game, 

I wasn't able to play.

I coached from the bench.  (Yelling probably wasn't good for my throat, but I am not the quietest person out there when I am at the rink)

Having bronchitis reminded me of what it was like when I had to stop playing after I was diagnosed.  It is weird how things can take you right back into that moment.  

It was a moment I will never forget.

It was a moment I do not want to repeat.

I may not be the fastest player out there, or the best, but when I am out there I will give 110% every game, because I know that any game you play could be your last.  That is a scary feeling to know about the sport I love so much.

So if you see me play, you will know why I skate hard, yes I like to win, but there is more to that sheet of ice that most people can see.  

That is why to me every game is a victory.

To some it is just a game.

To me it is a whole lot more.

That is why I will keep skating.

 Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com available on demand, on iTunes, IHeart radio, the podcast app on your iPhone and on stitcher.

Carpe Diem

(Photo from www.sowhateverhappenedto.com about Pam Dawber)

I found out about Robin Williams passing after waking up from a nap.  My fiancé told me he committed suicide (at time of the writing of this blog that is what the news is saying).  

Anyone who is my age or older remembers Robin Williams from Happy Days and Mork and Mindy.  Yes the younger generation knows him as Mrs. Doubtfire but I will always remember him fondly as Mork.

In the 70's and 80's the comedy boom was happening, and many of the sitcoms would hire comedians as guest stars on their shows.  

In 1983 or 1984 I went to California on a trip. My parents knew some people who worked in the TV and Film industry.  We were able to see a few shows on the Paramount Lot.  We had front row seats to see Laverne and Shirley and Mork and Mindy.  He was hilarious and quick, and yes I owned a pair of rainbow suspenders.

 I think this trip was what started my long love with Hollywood, and was one of the reasons I wanted to work in the industry. 

Depression.

It is silent, it is painful, and you feel like you are completely alone.  It can skew everything around you. You often feel like you cannot talk to anyone about how you feel.  It is difficult, and mental illness still carries a huge stigma.  

I have written and talked about my battle with depression often.  It is not easy to get out of the darkness and think that you can talk about it.  

You can, and you should.

There are others who have felt like you do.

With mental illness you are never alone.

There is always help.

There is always hope.

I will remember Robin Williams for the laughs he brought me, not for his tragic death.

I hope you will do the same.

If you think you are depressed or suicidal please get help.

Here are a few links:

Bring Change 2 Mind

National Alliance on Mental Health

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

I'll leave you with this quote from Robin Williams:

What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.

It's been a while part 1

 Image courtesy Stacey Reeb

Wow. It has been almost 8 months since I have written anything on this blog. I guess I didn't really have much to say. I was busy playing hockey and enjoying every second of it. We didn't have a great year, but it is about having fun and improving, winning is great too, but we all know that doesn't happen all the time for everyone. It is strange that I enjoyed Winter so much, this winter the snowfall record was broken. It was endless. Usually that kind of thing would bother me, but for some reason this year it did not. I am just happy to be here!!! I did have surgery in March. At the end of last year I had an ultrasound and my OB/GYN saw that a small polyp I had grew. He looked at it and did a biopsy. I have known him for many years and he wanted to be straight up with me. "Mel, I have seen this many times, and I have to tell you that I believe it is cancer." Silence Shit I thought. He can't be right, and deep down I knew he wasn't. We brought my fiance in to discuss it. He was nervous. I still wasn't convinced. The doc was surprised how well I was taking it. I never believe anything until I get the results. At least this is what I tell myself (and others) It is hard to imagine having cancer again. You hit the 5 year mark and you think everything is ok. A few of my friends had a recurrance and passed away after their recurrance. Needless to say I was a little scared. Fast forward to a few days later. Doc texts me to tell me it isn't cancer. But we should remove it. I agree with his advice. He recommends a gynecological oncologist/surgeon to remove it. Oncologist just in case, when they do the surgery they will do a frozen section, in case the biopsy didn't get anything. The surgeon was cool and strictly by the book. A no nonsense doctor. Someone for me to have a little fun with. We talked about having a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) and he started to talk about statistics about removing the ovaries, (oopherectomy) and before he could finish I said, take em out! I'm not using them! Probably not what he was expecting to hear. After the surgeon left the nurse came in to schedule. I wanted to postpone the surgery because we had playoffs, and even though my team wouldn't win the trophy we could have secured 3rd place. My fiance Doug shook his head at me and the nurse's body language told me that would not be a possibility. So surgery was scheduled for a day after our championship game.

This is part one.  It is later than I thought, and there is more to the story, so I will say goodnight for now.

Jaclyn Murphy: Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel Clip (HBO)

Frank Delford checks back in with pediatric brain tumor survivor Jaclyn Murphy, who inspired the Northwestern Women's Lacrosse magical 2005 season.

Jump on the bandwagon....

It's October, you all know what that means:

Pink.

It is everywhere.

Ribbons galore.
Many breast cancer advocates hate October, as do I, because of the overabundance of  pink ribbonon everything.. Slap a pink ribbon on cat food. 
Komen.

Komen is despised by most cancer advocates, mainly because they create carcinogenic perfumes, put pink ribbons on green beans, toilet paper and even cat food.  It's friskies for the cure.

Wait don't call it "for the cure'  Komen sues smaller organizations who use "for the cure" because Susan G. Komen foundation for the cure is trademarked, and some people may confuse your small fundraiser to help the local community with the big machine of Komen. 

Recently I read that Dr. Susan Love a well respected cancer survivor and author and the Young Survival Coalition decided to team up with Komen to join forces to document the short- and long-term physical and emotional side effects of breast cancer treatments.

Hurra...

Wait,

WHAT?

Join forces with Komen, the big pink monster?

We should all be happy about this?

Now the finding out the side effects is a good thing, and I am surprised no one has done this yet?

Maybe I am wrong, but there must be some documentation somewhere..

So now the 3: Love, YSC and Komen are together, and advocates who railed against Komen are now applauding the collaboration.

Such a great thing!!

What?

Komen may have a lot of money to go to this cause, but at what cost?  Do we forget everything that Komen does (and does not do) for the cause?


I guess some advocates do, blindly forgetting the  perfume "Promise Me" that contains carcinogenics, that they blogged so hard against, now applaud Komen for joining forces with Dr. Susan Love and YSC.

I only have to say this:

Shame on everyone who complained and rallied so hard against Komen and now are toasting them for this groundbreaking amazing   HOW study! 

Be a part of history!  (it actually says that)

Wow you can jump on the bandwagon of Komen lovers and be a hypocrite!!

Do me a favor. 


It may make me unpopular, and I may lose a few friends along the way, but one thing is certain.

I will never support Komen.

I can sleep at night knowing that.

When I see a pink ribbon on toilet paper or yogurt, I wont sigh and say to myself, but they are doing this HOW study, and brush it off because of the greater good.

I will still be able to look myself in the mirror.

If you are against Pinkwashing how can you be praising Komen.

Do me a favor.

Stop looking through those pink colored glasses and see what is really going on.

Social Security Disability Benefits and Cancer

Informative guest post

If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with cancer, it is likely that you are most concerned with important details like treatment options and doctor appointments. While the first few days after receiving a diagnosis are often chaotic and emotional, it is important that you take the time to plan for the future.  Depending on the type and severity of your cancer, you may eventually find that you are unable to continue working. The resulting loss of income paired with expensive medical bills can be financially devastating.

Fortunately, the Social Security Administration (SSA) offers financial benefits to sick or disabled individuals who can no longer work. The following article will give you a general understanding of Social Security Disability (SSD) benefits and will help you prepare for the application process.

Social Security Disability Benefit Programs

The SSA governs two separate programs that distribute SSD benefits—SSDI and SSI. It is important that you research these two programs and understand the differences between them before you begin the application process.

• Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) - The SSDI program provides financial assistance to disabled workers and their families. Eligibility for SSDI is determined by an applicant’s employment history and the amount of Social Security taxes they’ve paid. To make this easier to understand, the SSA assigns a specific amount of “work credits” to each quarter an individual earns income and pays taxes. To qualify for SSDI, applicants must have accumulated a certain amount of work credits. Learn more about the specific SSDI requirements, here: http://www.disability-benefits-help.org/ssdi/qualify-for-ssdi.

• Supplemental Security Income (SSI) - The SSI program offers benefits to elderly or disabled individuals who earn very little income. To qualify for SSI, applicants are not allowed to exceed very strict financial limits. SSI does not consider an applicant’s work history. Therefore, SSI is often a good fit for children or other individuals who haven’t had the chance to earn work credits. Learn more about SSI, here: http://www.disability-benefits-help.org/ssi/qualify-for-ssi.

To qualify for either program, applicants must meet the SSA’s definition of disability. The SSA considers a person disabled if they meet the following criteria:

• Your condition makes it impossible for you to perform substantial gainful activity (SGA). SGA is any job in which you earn more than $1,040 a month.

• Your condition has lasted or is expected to last at least one year or result in death.


Medical Disability Requirements

To gauge the severity of your cancer, the SSA will evaluate your condition based on the standards set in their guidebook of disabling conditions, known as the blue book. The blue book lists potentially disablingconditions along with specific medical criteria that an applicant must meet in order to qualify. Because cancer is a complex disease and affects everyone differently, the SSA typically evaluates cancer claims on a case-by-case basis.  This means that the blue book criteria will differ based on the type of cancer that you have.

You can find all of the blue book listings on the SSA’s website: http://www.socialsecurity.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/AdultListings.htm.

If you find that you do not meet the criteria of a blue book listing, you may still be able to qualify under a medical vocational allowance. Essentially, this means, that the SSA has determined that your condition keeps you from working regardless of the fact that you don’t meet the blue book requirements. In addition to your condition and symptoms, the SSA will also look at your age, work background, and level of education.

Compassionate Allowance Listings

It take anywhere from several months to over a year to receive a decision on your initial disability claim. The SSA realizes that individuals with severely debilitating conditions may not be able to wait that long to receive benefits. For this reason, the SSA allows individuals with certain conditions to be approved for benefits in as little as ten days. This is called compassionate allowance processing. You can view the compassionate allowance listings here: http://www.socialsecurity.gov/compassionateallowances/


Please note that you do not have to fill out additional paperwork or request compassionate allowanceprocessing. The SSA will evaluate your claim, and if it meets compassionate allowance standards, they will expedite it accordingly.



Beginning the Application Process

One of the most important parts of applying for SSD benefits is providing thorough documentation of  your cancer. The SSA will use this documentation as proof of your illness. Without it, you will not be approved. Medical documentation should include records of your diagnosis, medical lab test results, diagnostic imaging, history of hospitalizations, treatments you’ve received and how you responded, as well as an official statement from each of your doctors.  You should also collect copies of personal financial records and documentation of your work history.  Once you are prepared to begin the application procedures, you can do so online at the SSA’s website or in person at your local Social Security office.  You should keep in mind that the SSD application process is, by no means, easy.  You may find it to be overwhelming and discouraging at times. It is important that you remain persistent in your efforts—even if your initial claim is denied.  If you find yourself in that situation, you have the right to appeal the SSA’s decision.



For more information about the appeal process, visit Social Security Disability Help or contact Molly Clarke at mac@ssd-help.org.

"SELF"ish RANT

 

I read a lot of articles and information online, and usually things don't get my ire up enough for me to blog about it but a recent article in SELF magazine really upset me.  It is an article about thyroid cancer, the author quotes Louise Davies, M.D., a researcher with the VA Outcomes Group in White River Junction, Vermont. "Calling thyroid cancer 'cancer' makes it sound like it will kill you, when the truth is, not all cancers matter."

Wait.

WHAT?

Right. so what this article is saying is don't worry about it.  Thyroid cancer isn't really cancer.  If you are diagnosed.  Meh.

I am not a doctor, I have no medical degree.  I give people advice and tell them I am not a medical expert, I went to college for television production, and all my experience I have is from being a cancer patient/advocate.  If you want to take my advice, that is up to you.

But to be an MD and say not all cancers matter is perhaps the most irresponsible statement I have read.

Calling thryoid cancer "cancer" makes it sound like it will kill you.....

That's because it CAN...

It's called cancer for a reason.

I am wondering if Louise Davis, M.D. would give that advice to her daughter, mother, best friend or sister, its not really cancer "cancer"  it's thryoid cancer.

What?

Louise Davis doesn't have to live with the consequences of not treating the non cancer cancer.  The patient does.

Hey Louise, how about this analogy.  If your brakes are squishy, and you push them and they go almost to the floor, when you take them into the mechanic to fix them and he says they are fine, you can drive home.  He doesn't have to drive your car, take your kids to school, live your life.

Tell not all cancers matter to any of my cancer survivor friends, some of whom are thyroid cancer survivors.  We have all seen good friends of ours die from cancer,   and we would never say, well he died from cancer, but not CANCER cancer.  It doesn't matter.

YES IT FUCKING DOES MATTER.

It is reckless to give blanket medical advice like that when everyone's cancer is different.  Yes thryoid cancer is treatable, but so are many other cancers, oh its only Leukemia, its not LEUKEMIA leukemia, it doesn't matter.

 

Every cancer matters.

Every survivor matters. 

 

I would like Louise Davis to explain herself to a roomful of my thryoid cancer survivor friends.

Tell them that it doesn't matter.

Yeah, let me know how that goes...

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand, on Itunes and on the Podcasts app on your iphone

'Cause I love that dirty water....

Photo above by Jessica Rinaldi/Reuters

Boston.  Everyone's city. At least after the Boston Marathon bombings on April 15th.

I went to college in Boston.  Spent 4 amazing years there.

I grew up in a small town in New Hampshire.  Wasn't the sports nut that I am now, but we would watch the Celtics (back when Larry Bird was THE man), we would all watch the Pats on Sunday.  God they were terrible, but you would keep watching them every Sunday, no matter how much they disappointed you.  It's the Patriots, its YOUR team.

Growing up where the country was started was a pretty amazing experience.  I didn't realize it at the time, but I realize it now, how special it is.  Having all that history, all that culture.  Everything started where you live. You don't think about it when you are a kid.  But when you are older, you realize growing up where our country started, in one of the 13 colonies, is pretty cool.

Ok I grew up in New Hampshire, 2 hours away from Boston. 

I didn't really care about high school.  Looking back I should have done better.  I am smart, but in school people compare you to your siblings, and my brother, 1 grade ahead of me, was class valedictorian.  So I would inevitably get compared to him.  So why should I try if I was always going to be compared to.  Not really a fair thing for teachers to do to a kid.

So I graduated somewhere in the middle of the pack.

Television always interested me so I applied to Newbury Junior College (It's now a 4 year college)  I figured I would get an associates degree and if I liked what I was doing then I would go on to Emerson.

College in Boston.  Our dorms were in Back Bay, on Comm ave, just 5 blocks from the Common. 

I loved going to school there. Finally, in a place full of misfits, I fit in.  It was great.

Patriot's Day.

I heard on the radio there were explosions near the finish line.

I wasn't able to get to a TV until about an hour later and then I saw the images, the videos.

The horror.

Terrorists had placed improvised explosive devices (IEDs) in the crowd at the finish line.  Several hundred people were injured.  3 people would eventually die from their injuries.

The first marathon I experienced was in 1989.  I still remember the hallway of our dorm had boston marathon signs that we had taken.  Signs that were discarded after the marathon.

The marathon was hot that year,  I remember because my friend Sabrina and I walked around and being around all those people and the heat made it even more hot.  It was a fun experience, but I am not a runner, and it is something you should experience at least once, because Boston is THE marathon to run in.

The terrorists took a lot that day, from the people of Boston, and from me they took a little bit of the innocence of the city from me. 
 
It depressed me.  I know the tragedy of it all depressed a lot of people, I get that, but when you are so familiar with a place, when, even though you haven't been there for almost 20 years you are still part of the city.  I think every past college student who studied in Boston knows what I am talking about.  You picture taking money out of that ATM,taking photos of the John Hancock building, walking home buzzed from a party with your roommate. 

I felt incredibly lost and helpless.

4 days.

That's all it took.

4 days to find the people responsible.  Ironically in my college roomate's hometown.  Crazy how small this world is.

I remember when they caught him I felt as if a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

I was sad for a city that I hadn't been to in almost 20 years, a city that I have so many fond memories of, I city that will always have a place in my heart.

Big Papi said it in a speech at Fenway:   This is our Fucking city....

Yeah it still is.

It's a Boston thing, you probably wouldn't understand.


Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand, on Itunes, stitcher radio, Tune In radio, Roku and on the Podcasts app on your iphone

That championship season

There is always a lot I can write about how hockey has helped me through treatment and beyond.  It is a recurring theme in my blog.  This season has been no different.  This season my captain Stacey and I were able to secure a sponsor for a team in our league.  We got the only hockey store in the area, run by a former LA King, to sponsor our team.  Not bad for the only team with 2 women as captain and assistant captain.

The cool thing about being a captain is that you can draft your team. We were able to see who we wanted during the fall season, to draft for the winter cup run.  My captain and I picked players based not only upon skill level but on personality.  Many of the players we only knew in passing, not anything about them but what we saw on the ice and heard about from other players.

Now I am not a great player.  I am a good player, alright I am an ok player, I am not afraid to go after the puck and I know where I am supposed to be, I am not the fastest, or the slowest, and I am not afraid to go in the corners against bigger players and go after the puck (size never bothered me when I play hockey, just another player.)

So this winter season, if you look at the final standings for the season we played 10 games, won 3, lost 6, tied 1.  Not the last out of 6 teams, but it was close, we could have been.

Our cup run was short lived, we won 1 game, lost one in overtime, got shutout in the last.

So you are wondering how can it be a championship season?

When we lost?

When we didn't make it to the finals or get our name on the cup 

like I did the first season I played.

If you envision a team, that has all the right elements, player wise, personality wise, (hat didn't obviously reflect our talent of our team,) then this was it.  There were a few players that Stacey and I had played with before, but none of these people all together.

There is something about playing on a team.  Being a part of something that isn't just you.  The team wins, you win, the team loses, you lose.  It is that simple.

What made this team so special?  Everything about it was the embodiment of team.  We all celebrated our goals, our assists, our victories, our defeats.  Most of the teams I have played on some players do that, but not all of them.   When you watch a professional hockey team, that is what they do, celebrate as a team.

I played on a line with 2 players whose skill level was above mine.  I don't skate as fast as they do, nor do I score as much as they did, but they both made me a better player, something, while perhaps insignificant to them, to me I am forever grateful.

As a cancer survivor, when you go through treatment you celebrate the small victories, because with them there can come huge defeats.

I have played hockey in California and Michigan, played on several teams, with different people, and win, lose or tie this has been the best hockey season I have ever experienced.


Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand, on Itunes and on the Podcasts app on your iphone

Maintaining a Healthy Weight to Lower Your Cancer Risk

Another guest blogger, enjoy!

There are many reasons for maintaining a healthy weight, and they're not just related to looking good.  Keeping your weight within a healthy range can help boost your energy level and lead to better sleep.  In addition, it helps prevent all sorts of health problems, including heart disease, diabetes, and even cancer.

How Does Weight Relate to Cancer?

Numerous studies have investigated the link between body weight and cancer, and the results show that obesity is yet another risk factor that can increase your chance of developing many types of cancer.  Types of cancer that are affected by obesity include esophagus, breast, kidney, thyroid, pancreas, colon, rectum, endrometrium, and gallbladder,  Potential reasons for increased risk include chronic low-level inflammation, the effects of fat cells on other types of cell growth, and the excess production of hormones, including estrogen and adipokenes, that may stimulate cancer growth.

What is a Healthy Weight for Me?

Standards for a healthy weight revolve around your BMI or body mass index.  This number is based on your height and weight, and you can easily calculate it with a BMI calculator. For adults, a healthy BMI is between 18.5 and 24.9.  For people who are 6 feet tall, this is a weight range of 137 to 183 pounds.  A BMI between 25 and 29.9 is overweight and 30 or greater is obese.

Ways to Maintain a Healthy Weight

1.  Eat a balanced diet that includes plenty of low-starch vegetables, whole grains, fruits, and lean proteins.  Ensure that your calorie intake for each day is equivalent to your caloric needs,  which depend on your age, height, weight, gender, and activity level.

2. Limit your consumption of foods high in fat and sugars which both contribute to weight gain.  Try cooking techniques like sauteeing or grilling, which use less fat than frying.  Drink water or milk instead of sweetened beverages.

3.. Exercise regularly, ideally getting at least 150 minutes of moderate physical activity each week to maintain your weight, or more to lose weight.  A good target is 30 minutes per day, 5 days per week.  Some activites you could try include brisk walking, jogging, cycling, swimming, and aerobics.

4.  Meet regularly with others who want to maintain a healthy weight to discuss your techniques and progress.  The support from others can help motivate you to meet your goals

About the Author:  Natural Horizons Wellness Centers offers an array of alternative cancer treatments for conditions including lymphoma, myeloma, leukemia, carcinoma, breast cancer and more.

X Men

There are those among you who are different.  Sure they may seem just like you, but they are not. You are normal, you don't have what we have.  No its not some exciting superpower, we can't time travel.  Nothing cool like that.
We have something you don't want:

An invisible illness

Sure we may not look sick, and I would say for myself , I'm not all the time.

We fight a battle that you will never see, an internal battle that for some would be too hard to bear.

We don't talk about it, because it has become a part of us, and for those of you who don't have these side effects, well you just wouldn't understand.

How can you explain to a friend you have known for years that when you see them at a restaurant or store you can't remember their name?

Or when you have chronic joint and neck pain, that gets worse when when you get stressed out, how do you keep a smile on your face when you are sitting at your desk and greeting people at your job.

Or the chronic fatigue, being so damn tired all the time then trying to sleep and laying awake all night.

I have a lot of friends with invisible illnesses. 

Lupus

Diabetes

Side effects from chemo

There are many more that I am not aware of, of this I am sure.

It's interesting because the more people I talk to the more I find out about their invisible illness.

You will never hear us complain about what we go through, except with each other.

We smile and laugh to ourselves when we hear others bitching about what a crappy day they had, if their computer stopped working or they had a flat.

If only I had a flat instead of chemobrain.  Flat tires are easy to fix.  Searching for words when they just aren't there isn't an easy fix, its especially difficult when you do a live radio show.


There is nothing like knowing what you want to say but can't say it and there is dead air.

But I am not  complaining, it's a part of me, unfortunately.  Something I have to live with most likely for the rest of my life.  It is simply an explanation.

So the next person you meet may be one of us, or may not be.  You will never know if they are one of us, one of the X Men.

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand, on Itunes and on the Podcasts app on your iphone

40 Deeds for Stacy Heath

Another guest blog, about a good friend

Stacy Heath was the most enthusiastic, passionate, fun-loving person most of us have ever known. She gave more of herself than she ever received from others. It was her mantra. She lived and breathed making other people happy. The connections she made, the grapevines she wove, were more often than not the glue that held relationships together. When she died suddenly and tragically in December from a hemorrhagic stroke, the gaping hole that was created in our daily lives was immense. Who could ever fill a space so uniquely hers?

Another dear friend of mine, Randi Hunter, also mourning this great loss confided in both Tom (Stacy's husband of 21 years) and I that she was going to do 40 Good Deeds in honor of Stacy on her birthday. “Instead of crying all day, I choose to do good deeds.” Hearing her positive spin on such a recent and tragic loss, we had to jump on board! Tom and I both agreed to take the day off of work and all together (with my husband) we are going to do 40 Good Deeds to celebrate Stacy in “true Stacy fashion” (as Randi says).

We decided to create a page to get the message out to her other friends and family so we could do it all together. We worked together to create the 40 Deeds page on Facebook in honor of Stacy Heath and her giving heart. The page caught on quickly; many people joined in our efforts to spread the word of 40 Deeds and within 36 hours the page had over 200 likes. Anyone who has ever come into contact with Stacy has been touched by her in some way; it’s a beautiful thing to see so many other people get involved.

Stacy didn’t just do good deeds one day, she did them every day. We would love for people to do daily good deeds and live the giving spirit that Stacy did. However, on this first birthday since we lost her, it will be particularly difficult for all of us. Hence the purpose for 40 Good Deeds on January 23rd, Stacy’s 40th Birthday.

Tom says “If Stacy were here, this is the sort of thing that she would orchestrate or at least passionately participate in.” Spreading this message of goodwill and seeing it ripple through Northern Michigan helps to heal our hearts. As we come together on her 40th Birthday, join us in committing to touch someone else’s life. If everyone did just one good deed, just imagine the impact that would have on our community, families and world. We can change the world one Good Deed at a time, One Day at a time…because that’s what Stacy Heath would want. She did them every day; she even gave the Gift of Life after passing away.

Xo – Anora O’Connor, Stacy’s Friend & Chosen Family
(Also with Randi Hunter, Dear Friend and Tom Heath, Husband of 21 years)

www.Facebook.com/40Deeds

In Retrospect

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?

Never really sure what that song meant... Should we forget about the past and not think about it? Or never forget it. Not really sure.

2012 has been an interesting year for me.  

One of great happiness, as well as great sadness.

I celebrated my 5 year anniversary of being cancer free.

And I also lost some good friends along the way.

People like me, who have faced their own mortality, realize how precious life is.

How important it is not to waste even a second of it.

If you are full of hate you miss out on joy

If you are angry you won't be happy.

If you worry  you won't have hope.

You never know when the last time you will see someone will be.

One of my friends passed away this year suddenly from a stroke.

She was one of the greatest people I have ever known.

I still remember the last time I saw her, it was like any other day.

I watched her walk away with her coffee as I was continuing my job,

I had no idea it would be the last time I saw her.

Tell those important to you that you love them.

Know that everyone who comes into your life is there for a reason.

Enjoy every day.  

Drink in the sheer awesomeness that is life, and this earth.

Life is precious.

Enjoy every second of it.

There are 31,536,000 seconds in a year.

 Don't waste any of them.

I'll leave you and 2012 with this quote from John Hughes, from the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand, on Itunes and on the Podcasts app on your iphone

AGAIN

There is a scene in the movie Miracle where Coach Herb Brooks makes the 1980 Olympic team do the now infamous blue line drill after a game that the team was paying more attention to the girls in the stands to the Norwegian team they were playing.


It is a drill that no hockey player wants to do:  Goal line, blue line, Red line, blue line, goal line and any variation therein.

In the movie it is referred to as the AGAIN drill.

Again.

Never a word a cancer survivor wants to hear.

Had a routine blood draw, although I guess after cancer nothing is really routine.

Got a call from the nurse practioner that she wanted to talk about my labs. 

I knew it wasn't too bad since the doc didn't call me, those are the calls I dread.

The blood draw I had was to test my thyroid and D3 levels.  Somewhere along the way during cancer treatment I got hashimoto's thyroiditis, yeah its really called that.

So the Nurse Practitioner and I do the phone tag thing.

Labs show your levels are up.

No wonder I have been tired, I know I stay up late and enjoy a good nap, but seriously, people who have these diseases that give you chronic fatigue should be pillow testers or something.

Hmm I may be on to something maybe I should write relax the back or tempurpedic for a sponsorship.

Back to the story.  Doc thinks I should up my dosage and do another blood draw in 6 weeks.

Hopefully this is the last time I have to think about my thryoid...

AGAIN

Check out my podcast The Cancer Warrior on Empoweradio.com.  Available on demand, on Itunes and on the Podcasts app on your iphone

Meeting the Challenge of Cancer and Care-giving

 

 

Another guest blogger!  Enjoy!

There have been numerous times when my wife made the comment to me that she cannot fathom the things I went through when she was diagnosed with mesothelioma. I’m writing this to shed some light on my experience as a caregiver for her during her illness.

Our daughter, Lily, was born just three months before the mesothelioma diagnosis. After the birth of our daughter, we were radiant and hap

py and were enjoying our new, beautiful family. Suddenly, we were tossed into a sea of worry and uncertainty when my wife received her unexpected diagnosis. I recall looking at my tearful wife and wondering how we were going to survive this period of our lives. It all seemed so frightening and daunting to us as new parents.

Shortly after the diagnosis, I went through an emotional state that was pure outrage at this turn of events. I cursed and shouted and felt completely helpless. My anger got the best of me for a bit; but I soon realized I needed to be strong and stable for my family because they needed me now more than ever. This realization hit home and while I still had my moments of weakness, I did my best to be a solid rock my wife and daughter could depend on.

Once the diagnosis was given, I had a huge to-do list. My regular responsibilities of work, taking care of household chores and helping with our daughter were added to significantly. On top of these tasks, I also began helping my wife with basic care, making regular travel arrangements and scheduling frequent appointments. It was a lot to deal with, but I kept my priorities focused and became determined to accomplish each task set in front of me. I also had a lot of help from the community and family members. I am truly not sure what I would have done without the remarkable outpouring of support that was offered to our family.

Following Heather’s surgery in Boston, the next two months were incredibly hard on me. It is difficult for my wife to imagine what I went through during this time frame. After her surgery, Heather flew to South Dakota to be with her parents while she recuperated and prepared for her next round of mesothelioma treatment. Her parents had watched Lily while we were in Boston during Heather’s surgery. While Heather was recuperating, I only got to see her and my daughter one time during their stay in South Dakota. This was harder on me than I can put into words.

The obligation of maintaining my job while being separated from my family was really hard on me. I made a long drive to visit them one weekend and then returned home to work again. Looking back now, I know we had to face difficult choices while my wife was going through treatment, but I am grateful we still had options. Through all of our struggles, Heather is still here and still healthy over six years later. I hope
that our story can be a source of hope and help to those currently battling cancer.

About the author:

"Cameron is husband to Heather Von St. James, survivor advocate for the Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance, and father to Lily Rose. He, along with Heather and young Lily, had their world's turned upside down when Heather was diagnosed with malignant pleural mesothelioma, just 3 1/2 months after the birth of his only child. When faced with the very real possibility of raising Lily on his own, he fought alongside Heather in her battle with mesothelioma.
Like Heather, Cameron is passionate about bringing awareness to mesothelioma and the dangers of asbestos exposure. It is his hope that sharing his story will help others those battling cancer and their caregivers who provide them care and guidance in their journey."